hear48's Journal, 26 April 2015

My sister has been dying and finally passed away on Thursday. I finally dug out my scales and discovered the after effects of my comfort eating...12 more pounds to lose!

I had decided a while ago that I was sick and tired of keeping a constant eye on the scales. Big mistake, I guess.

I knew my clothes were getting tighter. I knew I was binge eating, but I just didn't care enough about myself to stop my destructive behaviour.

So here I am...heavier than I have ever been and very angry with myself. I hurt so much that it is hard to walk, so the idea of exercise to improve this situation feels like a vicious circle.

However, I have started. I am going to aquafit once or twice a week, and taking a class in chair yoga once a week.

When I lost a lot of weight in the past I invested in a very expensive program with a lot of accountability. At that point I had decided that I was worth it. Somehow I need to get back to that place in my thinking.

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1670 kcal

Fat: 102.66g | Prot: 59.28g | Carb: 148.42g.   Breakfast: Coffee (Instant Powder). Lunch: Coffee with Milk, Smucker's Strawberry Jam, Peanut Butter, Toasted Whole Wheat Bread, Bob Evans Home Fries, Jimmy Dean Fully Cooked Sausage Links, IHOP Scrambled Egg. Dinner: Kraft Signature Mandarin Orange with Sesame Dressing, Lettuce Salad with Assorted Vegetables. Snacks/Other: Coca-Cola Diet Coke Caffeine Free (Can), Nut Mixture with Dried Fruit and Seeds. more...