Michelle450to's Journal, 17 April 2018

I know I have let depression sneaking up and taking over my diet.. excuses and eating what ever.. today binge eating .. sitting here with a miserable overly full belly I don't feel any better. The amount was less than I probably could have done in the past but still feel pretty down. I know I'm down and e know I need to deal with it, but what I really want to do is just go home crawl in bed and sleep. I can't just do that though since I need to work for a living. I sometimes wish I was one of those people that when they get stressed didn't eat.
380.6 lb Lost so far: 76.4 lb.    Still to go: 30.6 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.

Diet Calendar Entry for 17 April 2018:
3092 kcal Fat: 146.01g | Prot: 83.54g | Carb: 359.27g.   Breakfast: Burger King Hash Browns (Small), McDonald's Iced Coffee with Sugar Free Vanilla Syrup (Large), Orange Juice, Philadelphia Original Cream Cheese, Thomas' Cinnamon Raisin Bagel. Lunch: Reese's Peanut Butter Cups (King Size), Wal-mart Deli Potato Wedges, Cooked Green String Beans, Roast Beef Sandwich with Gravy, Mashed Potato. more...
gaining 12.6 lb a week

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Comments 
be encouraged. dust yourself off. get up and do better not tomorrow starting NOW. You can do it! stay positive. :)  
17 Apr 18 by member: marshakanady
It’s done. It’s finished. Stressing yourself can’t change the past Go forwards.. Look at your goals Imagine yourself meeting your goals You can do it! Keep going ! 😁😁😁 
17 Apr 18 by member: gaelicgal
I feel your exhausted your schdule is massive and your not acting like yourself. Go take some time for you Sweetie if you need to crawl under the covers and sleep, do it. Love you Michelle❤️ 
17 Apr 18 by member: 8Patty
FWIW- carbs make me (almost clinically) depressed. Eat the burgers; skip the fries, shakes, colas, flavored coffees, etc. Once your emotions are settled, have a single Tootsie Pop if you have to have something sweet, but let it dissolve in your mouth, don't chew it up (60 calories). If you think you've waltzed into sugar addiction territory, best to go cold turkey a while to lose the cravings. We've ALL been there, Michelle. You are smart, strong and dedicated. You know the direction to go and steps to take. Start now. We love you and support you. You have got this! 
17 Apr 18 by member: TomLong
Michelle, some foods make to feel bad and induce depression and inflamation and emotions soar. You have done excellant on your diet and excersize program . You dont need to be hard on yourself, try to grasp your motivation and start over , tomorrow a new day. Sometimes we all slip up and we regret it, but Im glad those inner feelings of regret or emotions kick in so we can re-examing ourself where we are and where we want to be. Those feelings help keep us in tact and help us make good decissions. You can do this, Your amazing, and you just had a bad couple days but it get better. Just dont over do it and slow down try not to get overwelmed. We are here for you!  
17 Apr 18 by member: KayLee_TC
Hey Babe, when I got cravings for sweet I had a bag of frozen fruit in my freezer and I would sneak the pieces out one. At. A. Time. Until I’d eaten about 1/2 a cup like I was cheating and then record it or 1/4 cup in this itty bitty stainless cup I own for dipping sauces. The idea being that the fruit wasn’t wuite as sweet and didn’t hit as hard or make me crave as much more junk. I’m not sure if that’s true. I still fight it when I’m down and stressed, but now it’s a better quality of food! LOL We love you girl! 🙋🏻 
17 Apr 18 by member: smprowett
Patty last week I litteraly took Friday off and did that took my kid to school.. Came back home put back on my jam jams crawled in bed had a good cry and fell asleep  
17 Apr 18 by member: Michelle450to
Tom- it's not the sugar that made me depressed but outside forces.. And yah know one thing starts it and domino effect... Even coworkers doing normal annoying behaviors have been grating me.. Sitting at work I have to much time to think and sometimes just sitting there silent crying trying to do my work... Miserable.. I took off early Thursday because I couldn't sit there any longer and Friday I called off because the thought of sitting there and thinking all day made me get a headache... I know think of something else.. But yah know some thoughts are stubborn and once you get thinking about it it's just a downward spiral.. It will get better though I know it 
17 Apr 18 by member: Michelle450to
Kaylee- thanks hun.. I need to balance things out reduce carbs get proteins up  
17 Apr 18 by member: Michelle450to
smprowett- speaking of frozen fruit... I wonder if there is anymore frozen watermelon in the freezer or my kid has eaten it all.. Lol fruit especially watermelon cheese sticks and summer sausage are not safe around here lol...... The last few times I went to the store I have wanted a fresh watermelon I have to keep telling myself $7 is to expensive for a watermelon smaller than a basketball. The frozen was still expensive, but it doesn't go bad in the fridge.  
17 Apr 18 by member: Michelle450to
It’s always okay to seek medical attention for depression. 
17 Apr 18 by member: drshellking
I had candy today too I haven't done that in a looooooong time. I need to go back to making my deserts and what not.. One of my faves was a butter or some fat, Konjac Glucomannan Powder, a scoop of flavored protein powder, and water, which makes a pudding. It's super good and something different than just a protein shake. Used to do fat and protein shakes a lot when I started keto to try to get my macros right  
17 Apr 18 by member: Michelle450to
Drshellking- thank you... It's not a long term depression I will be okay just have to get over the hump  
17 Apr 18 by member: Michelle450to
I also have depression and it gets in the way a lot when it comes to trying to be healthy. The thing that has worked for me is mindfulness and just asking myself am I hungry and if I’m emotionally okay or not to be around food. If not, I take the time to do something else. Something where I’m using my arms or legs. For me its usually embroider or walking my dog. Just know you aren’t alone and it’s okay, this isn’t the end of your journey and you will get back on track eventually :-) 
17 Apr 18 by member: edamami

     
 

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