Ms Elizabeth's Journal, 20 August 2014

blink blink.. twitch

In case you were curious.. Pulling hay wagons from a field requiring you to climb in and out of a giant diesel farm truck about 100 times.. does not induce labor. Bouncing around on back roads while pulling hay wagons at a whopping 25 mph does not induce labor. Ice cream does not induce labor. Standing all morning long and doing squats every 10 minutes isn't doing the trick either. Apparently the weather is suppose to be good for another stretch over the weekend though so I have until Friday to have the baby.. then the husband says he is cutting down more hay for 3rd cutting.. so I better get a move on it.. Insert death stare here.

Now that all that is covered.. I've decided birth is like watching water boil. It's never going to happen if I keep waiting for it. So instead.. I'm looking forward to the future.. as in my future straight jacket or weight loss goals. Whichever comes first. I think setting goals now when I have to be rational about the whole thing will make them more realistic. So far my ultimate goal is to get down to 125 lbs. I'm 5' that's it.. stop waiting for the inches because they aren't coming. I figure 125 is pretty good given I have to keep a muscular frame for kids, cows, wrestling,.. and um boobs. My other goals are... to sit on a toilet seat without hanging over. Is this realistic? Does this happen after age 10?? I want to be able to do a pull up. Because well.. I never could and that whole PE accessment thing in high school still haunts me. Luckily I didn't fart while attempting it. I had nightmares I would fart.. we've all heard the stories.. it could have happened. So pull ups.. without straining so badly I fart. Yup. Eh.. that's all I got. Now I'm obsessed with farting.

I wonder how many people let a loud one rip while giving birth? You hear the poo stories. No one talks about the fart stories. It's gotta happen!

16 Supporters    Support   

Comments 
You're a NUT! I LOVE you!!! 
20 Aug 14 by member: Johanne
ROFL Death stare! Excited about your big drop. :D hahahaha 
20 Aug 14 by member: northernmusician
Ugh.. I forgot to do a fanny check on the toilet again...  
20 Aug 14 by member: FullaBella
Haha! Love the goals!  
20 Aug 14 by member: megmonster
I have felt your pain. I had to go on bed rest with my second child when he tried to come too early at 32 weeks. After 36 weeks, when they took me off all the medication that stopped my contractions, he took his good old time arriving. I clocked a lot of miles at the local high school track walking laps, trying to get the labor started. The morning that my contractions were regular enough and close enough to consider me in labor, I went in the birthing center to get checked out, my mid-wife told that I was still only 2 cm dialated, despite 6 hours of labor. Instead of sending me home, she told me to go next door to the high school track to do some more laps!!!! It finally worked, and my son was born 4 hours later. Babies come when they are good and ready. Good luck!  
20 Aug 14 by member: DCDesigner
I have a holy grail-like fixation on being able to do a pull-up. I've never been able to do it. Years of elementary school gym class bullying really did a number on my athletic prowess for most of my life. I'm reclaiming my athleticism in my late 30's and never turning back! I'm hoping to do a pull-up by my 40th birthday in mid-October!  
20 Aug 14 by member: Sweeet2th
You are awesome! I almost spit my water all over my monitor when you started talking about pull ups & farting. Oh my goodness...thanks for the laugh!  
20 Aug 14 by member: Ploovie
When I was training to do my first 5k I was absolutely 100% positive that I was going to poop my pants. It haunted me day in and day out. When the time came, I am proud to report I did not poop my pants. But its still always a fear I have in the back of my mind.. 
20 Aug 14 by member: xohhjeez
After having kids, you also need to add the fear of peeing your pants while doing a pull-up. 
20 Aug 14 by member: mgrill
Yes I still have to cross my legs when I laugh or sneeze. Thanks for that, Mother Nature! 
20 Aug 14 by member: tempest_spirit
I love reading your entries! I was watching the videos for pull ups, seemed quite easy you know. So decided to do "a few" when I was walking the other day and saw a convenient branch of a friendly tree. I jumped, grabbed the branch and... gosh, no way to pull myself up, I was barely able to hang on. So I let go, scraping my hand and breaking two already short fingernails in the process, looked around to make sure nobody saw that, and walked home, totally defeated... 
20 Aug 14 by member: AilaOne
You pee when you do a pullup?? Crap! I thought jumping jacks were going to be my biggest worry. For the longest time I couldn't do one without thinking I was going to pee myself after having little man. Mother Nature is just mean.. and wrong.  
20 Aug 14 by member: Ms Elizabeth
DFW, I would love to test the pull up theory, but after this many years of life, I have still yet to complete one successful pull up. 
20 Aug 14 by member: eddie1261
Laughing!!! I have never been able to do a pull up either 
20 Aug 14 by member: wholefoodnut

     
 

Submit a Comment


You must  sign in to submit a comment
 

Other Related Links

Members



Ms Elizabeth's weight history


Get the app
    
© 2024 FatSecret. All rights reserved.