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God, I can't wait until I'm leaner. It's driving me crazy.
I'm started shadow boxing. I used to do it when I was a kid, frustrated with being bullied, I'd spend ages kicking and punching thin air (or pillows, walls, doors, bins, etc lol - I had issues) but it turns out that was called shadow boxing.
As I get stronger and faster, I realise I can make my body more than just something nice to look at or something I can use to help people, but I can use it to defend myself and feel safer when I go places.
Maybe one day I'll do what I've always wanted to do since a kid, and take up martial arts (when my social anxiety is in better check, and when I don't feel so self-conscious about my body) perhaps via a personal trainer, and see what happens.
I've noticed my punches are actually quite quick - jabby - and I am capable of moving quite quickly, but my balance isn't great, and sometimes I'm just all over the place. At any rate, it's good exercise! I'll get myself a punching bag when I get outta here, and possibly one of those lil balls boxers train on. It should be a fantastic release for anxiety.
As for my bulk, I think I'm putting on body fat, or maybe it's water weight, I dunno. Could just be temporary. I do see I get more bloated, lately, if I eat something like hot sauce, pasta, and just about anything that is heavy or gassy/acidic. It's depressing, because it makes me look bigger than I am. I think I'm getting a little more muscular, and my muscles (at least some of them) feel harder, so that's a good sign, but I'm not expecting much from this bulk. I'm not doing it the traditional eat-like-a-pig way, just pretty much doing what I was doing before for bodyfat loss, but making sure to hit that 100g target of protein a day.
Since all these aches and pains, I think I've finally come to terms with the idea of REST. I need not workout all the time. It's all very well saying that it's just a few pullups here and there, it's just one or two more chinups, or a few pushups, it's not gonna make a difference, except it does. I'm fine with pushing myself, but sometimes I need to learn when to stop. Stupid OCD.
Diet Calendar Entries for 31 March 2015:
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1807 kcal
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Fat: 69.26g | Prot: 112.25g | Carb: 168.38g.
Breakfast: SCI-MX Nutrition Ultra Whey Protein Chocolate Flavour. Lunch: Grapes, SCI-MX Nutrition Ultra Whey Protein Chocolate Flavour. Dinner: Tuna in Water (Canned). Snacks/Other: Co-Op Fairtrade Ghanaian Dark Chocolate with Spices and Orange Oil, Jacob's Twiglets, Spicy Chicken Pasta, Cucumber (with Peel), Grapes, Cherry Tomatoes, Spinach. more...
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2758 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Calisthenics (heavy, e.g. pushups) - 1 hour and 20 minutes, Resting - 14 hours and 40 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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