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I'm trying my best to learn a new lifestyle. There are so many major changes that are 100% necessary to actually do this for real and permanently. Parts of me just want to overthrow the new government within me lol. I have to keep my eye on those rebel groups of thoughts that swim around in the depths of my mind. I realize that meal planning is going to make or break me so I have to figure out a way to make that an enjoyable and permanent habit. It's actually kind of alot of work to be fit. I have been a lazy person my whole life. This is why i'm fat. I was never pro-active I was just always reactive. Like... oh i'm hungry what can I eat right now to fix that uncomfortable feeling. Mcdonalds... cheap and fast, and I dont have to do any work for it. Always sort of taking the easy way out for lack of planning and interest.
I am also realizing that putting myself first is 100% necessary in order to achieve anything worth having. I am not used to doing that so its taking me some time to grasp this concept. Exercise and meal planning is more like an intimate time with myself to just hang out with myself and focus on me. To do what I need and give myself 100% of my own attention. It's like building a relationship with myself and kind of taking my body on as a very well loved pet lol. Something that I cherish and take the best care of. I used to approach weight loss more like a slave-driver like you have to do this and this now or else you'll screw it all up. But of course that never lasted. I burned myself out on cruel punishing behaviour and a demeaning mindset only after the first week or two. I just hope i've let go of enough emotional baggage to finally stop fighting myself once I loose about 5 lbs. To finally just have permission to be thin is all that I ask from myself. I do believe i'm finding just that.
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208.8 lb
Lost so far: 2.2 lb.
Still to go: 53.8 lb.
Diet followed reasonably well.
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Diet Calendar Entries for 22 June 2012:
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1297 kcal
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Fat: 67.50g | Prot: 75.96g | Carb: 98.19g.
Breakfast: celery, marble cheese, nature egg, red bell pepper. Lunch: feta, extra lean ground beef, asparagus, red bell peppers. Dinner: Classic Potato Chips, Jasmine Rice, broccoli, beets. more...
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2755 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Housework - 3 hours, Resting - 13 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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losing 15.4 lb a week
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