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I actually started on the 17th. I'm down 6 lbs so far. I'm really just tired of not being able to control my own thoughts and impulses. I feel like I'm not myself lately. Like I'm trapped in this body and watching someone else making all the decisions for me. I sometimes wonder if this is what it's like being possessed.
Phentermine is the only thing that makes me feel focused and in control. My doctor tells me I'm supposed to take this time to break my addiction to the foods that control me so I can be accustomed to the new foods that I eat. Unfortunately, I never found specific foods controlling. It's the inability to stop eating. Luckily, we just started treating my thyroid and we're using Topomax for migraine prevention at the same time. Topomax has also been prescribed for weight loss even though that's not what it's original intended use is.
I need control first. I'll work on a game plan for the next phase, but I can't keep spiraling out of control while I keep failing. At least I know this works, even if it isn't long term. I'm strongly considering hypnosis to control my impulses. I never realized I had such a strong eating disorder until this last gain and I threw out my back. I'm still trying to recover this bout. Wish me luck. Much love to everyone out there. We all need love and encouragement through this.
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277.0 lb
Lost so far: 6.0 lb.
Still to go: 142.0 lb.
Diet followed N/A.
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Diet Calendar Entry for 22 May 2012:
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1041 kcal
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Fat: 65.82g | Prot: 23.37g | Carb: 94.13g.
Dinner: Banana Pepper, Lettuce, Macadamia Nut Cookie, Greek Pita Bread, Italian Salad Dressing, Feta Cheese, Greek Olives. more...
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