kingkeld's Journal, 07 May 2012

Happy Monday, my friends!

It's been a wild ride weekend, going to my brother's 50th birthday party, along with the confirmation of my nephew.

It was a great party, lots of fun, my brother's band playing live, speeches and everything else. The only real downside for me was... the food.

They had basically set up a hot dog and burger stand, and you'd get what you wanted. Sadly, there were NO good food choices. I basically gave up and gave in.

I had skipped breakfast almost entirely to save calories, but the end result was me overly hungry when it was time to eat, which wasn't until around 2pm. So I just ate.

I think it ended up being about a normal indulgence day worth of calories. I had no Internet connection on my phone so I wasn't able to log my food. I probably wouldn't have done it anyways. It just became the excuse.

The end result is that I weigh more than 83 kgs today. I hate myself for losing it yesterday, but there's no use in beating myself over the head about it. Instead, I'm writing this while spending a full hour on my bike, burning calories. I need to do this, I need to be at the right weight for my comfort. No excuses.

That's gonna be my approach for this coming week. Back to basics. Stay within RDI. FOCUS on that. Exercise every day. No excuses. If I'm too tired to exercise, then at least try for 30 minutes instead of the hour. I can do this.

I wonder why it gets so difficult for us sometimes?

Yesterday, going home from the party, I felt sick. I could tell that I didn't drink my water - another reason for today's gain -and my stomach was hurting bad. I kept telling myself what an idiot i wasnfor eating wrong, but that was the food choices I had. I just need to remember that feeling late at night with belly cramps, heart racing and general misery, to avoid this happening again.

I can't help thinking about what drives me to eat like that. I mean, I know it's against what I'm working for. It's against my general well-being, it's directly against my goal. I want my goal. I feel that I'm ready for my surgery. I feel that I'm ready for everything.

Maybe it's simply a subconscious attempt to keep losing weight? I'm a weight loss rock star (not my words), but I'm not a maintenance rock star. So, since I'm not acing the maintenance, am I simply subconsciously keeping myself in weight loss mode, or is it something else?

I've had the weight loss part of life taking up so much room for so long, that it's hard to relate to NOT having to lose weight. Then what? What do I put in the void instead?

It's a question a lot trickier than it sounds. It's one I need to answer, I think...

There's nothing like a little Monday morning psychology, huh? :-)

So, what I'm gonna do is this:

Completely avoiding snacks last week was hell. I think this wasn't a solution for me, and I think it was also a reason that I failed yesterday. I wasncraving bad stuff like crazy. This week I'll do something else. Better snacks. Fruits. Small portioned snacks. No chocolates. No candies. Stay within RDI atmall costs. Just do it, no excuses. I can do this.

I gotta say it feels good to be on the bike this morning. I was ignoring the bike all of last week. I had my leg hurting a little and it became an excuse. No more. Exercising while journaling really is nice for me, time just zooms by. I like it a lot. I'm here listening to music, biking, writing, drinking coffee, saying comforting words to Kitty, who I can hear purring as she's lying in the recliner next to me. What is there to NOT like about this?

I'm not sure if it's because I didn't ride the bike for a week, if it's because of yesterday's food, or if it's simply because my living room is warmer, but I feel like I'm sweating out toxins like crazy. I can tell I'm getting more thirsty than I normally do, and my back is soaking wet. I think it's a good thing, and it feels great.

If exercise feels this awesome, then why is it sometimes so hard to convince myself to doing it? I ask myself this question every time I get on here, yet I'll still try to argue my way out of it. I try to memorize the great feeling during and after exercise, to motivate me. But fact is that I mostly exercise because I have to. Sure, it's easier today than it was a year or two ago. But it's still something I need to talk myself into. And then, when I'm doing it, I like it. So why not simply do it? I'm sure I'm not the only one having this fight?

...

Today is gonna be a good day at work, I think. I have a meeting and an interview, and administrative work the rest of the day. I have plenty to work on, things to meet a few deadlines. Tomorrow I'm off from work, taking wife to a checkup at the doctor's. Nothing serious, standard stuff. It means the day off though and that's always nice. It will, however, NOT mean no exercise, no journal or that it's Indulgence Day. I'll have none of that. I will treat it as a regular Tuesday, except I won't be at work. I'll work out in the morning before we leave. I'll stay within RDI, and I'll ensure to write a proper journal. I have to. No excuses!

Tonight, it's cozy time at home. We're gonna watch the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame induction ceremony that was on TV yesterday. It's a tradition at the Kingkeld Mansion. I'm so looking forward to it. No snacks will be involved. If anything, maybe a banana or a smoothie. Something fulfilling and calories wise sane. No excuses.

Speaking of home entertainment, we saw The Woman In Black this weekend. I highly recommend it to those of you who like the classic 70s style ghost movies. Best one out in a LONG time. We really liked it. Scared the he'll out of Wife. Then again, so did Ratatouille. :-)

Wife is a blast to watch movies with. She gets so into then. Laughing loud. Screaming. Yelling at the screen. No wonder I love her.

Anyways, my hour on the bike is up in a few minutes, and I'm babbling again. I think I need to put down tabby, get off the bike, take a shower and get going to work.

I'm betting on today being an awesome day, doing good and doing right.

I'm making "NO EXCUSES" my new mantra.

Have a great day. Make it a great one both for yourself and others. Life is good.

183.4 lb Lost so far: 158.3 lb.    Still to go: 0 lb.    Diet followed poorly.

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1743 kcal

Fat: 47.15g | Prot: 133.37g | Carb: 212.44g.   Breakfast: Rye Bread (Reduced Calorie), Sliced Ham (Extra Lean), Egg. Lunch: lettuce, chicken, pita bread. Dinner: Pita Bread, Chicken (Skin Not Eaten), Lettuce. Snacks/Other: Makrelfilet i tomatsauce, Rye Bread (Reduced Calorie), Jell-O Sugar Free Low Calorie Gelatin Snacks - Orange/Lemon-Lime, Strawberries, hard candy sugar free, Bananas. more...

3359 kcal

Activities & Exercise: Bicycling (slow) - 11/mph - 1 hour, Standing - 5 hours and 30 minutes, Walking (moderate) - 3/mph - 30 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours, Sitting - 9 hours. more...