WendyMaq's Journal, 17 December 2017

Yup... pulling out my hair now. So in less than a year, I lost nearly 20 lbs being mindful and put it all back on and more renovating the kitchen. I reset my diet so I could see my weight loss. I was frustrated when I had lost all the weight that was just making up all the weight I had gained. Then what happens?? I KEEP GETTING FATTER! I am the heaviest I've ever been and really frustrated. What am I going to do about it? I mean, I know what I have to do, but what am I actually going to do? Here's the thing, as a reformed anorexic, I hate having to think about food. I don't want to plan the menus. I don't want to eat every 3-4 hours. Worse, I don't want to have to think about every damn thing I put in my mouth. It makes me angry. THEN, after all my hard work, I won't lose the weight like the rest of my family. ..and that pisses me off, too. They don't have food issues like I do, but they hugely benefit from me doing all the stuff I HATE TO DO. Here's the thing, my husband actually does cook! BUT, he thinks nothing of what or how it affects our bodies or how many calories there are. I do. I've done the stupid research. I know what I have to do BUT I DON"T WANT TO DO IT. How nice for them, HUH, to have someone else to plan every single thing they put in their mouths so they can lose weight without thinking about it. I want that. I want someone to plan every meal, prep all the food, cook every meal and have everything on-hand and at the ready FOR ME. That's what I want for Christmas, Santa... can you make that happen?
221.2 lb Lost so far: 0 lb.    Still to go: 56.2 lb.    Diet followed N/A.
on diet WendyMaq's own diet   gaining 1.4 lb a week

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Maybe Santa can make that happen......ask for a personal chef for Christmas. There is a lady here who will contract to provide cooked meals to your specifications. I'd love to do that!! What a way to make a living. Another option is a company called Fit & Go. Walk in and order what you want - the staff are very knowledgeable (or so I've been told). I still have to check them out - no hurry for me because I like to cook.  
17 Dec 17 by member: Happy*Snappy
Thank you, Happy. I'm usually an optimistic and positive person, but I'm really frustrated. The kitchen was supposed to be done for Christmas, but we had another setback. My house is in utter chaos, but I need everything in its place. I need routine, but I haven't been able to get there because of all the people in my house. That includes my family. Despite my explaining what I need and why they just throw their crap everywhere then have the audacity to ask ME where it is. No one does anything to manage their weight, they wait for me to do it for them. No one ever makes an appointment with a doctor, but they'll complain. It's like I'm supposed to be everyone's frontal lobe and I'm trying to manage all the craziness. In the process, I am losing my mind and getting fatter.  
18 Dec 17 by member: WendyMaq
I have the same problem right now, people in my house hold are huge and they don't care at all what they put in their bodies and they look at me like I'm crazy 
18 Dec 17 by member: marquis.w.knight
Wendy - these situations are your stretching exercises.... trust me - you can stretch a lot further than you think you can. I have faith in you! My family used to do that until I started carrying a trash bag - if it's not where it's supposed to be it must be trash! If they wanted it back - they had to buy it (whatever chore I needed done or help with). Suddenly I had help!! Amazingly it only took a few weeks of throwing items away before stuff was able to find it's rightful home.......all by itself. Anything that wasn't 'purchased' back from me by the time the garbage guys showed up - I would walk it out to the truck myself. If they dont take care of it - they don't value it so they must not really want it. The hardest part was actually throwing it away. Our house got de-cluttered real fast! Broke my heart a few times too. My favorite question is - so what are you going to do about that? If they are not willing to do anything about it....the next time they bring it up I ask what did you do about it..... if the answer is nothing then I explain that I refuse to listen to them complain. Next topic!! If I'm standing next to a fully functional well complaining about how thirsty I am - then thirst isn't my real problem.  
18 Dec 17 by member: Happy*Snappy
Hang in there Wendy - make a plan and work the plan ..... adjust as needed. Chaos can have a routine of its own! The only consistent thing in life is change .... step back, take a breath and move forward - some days that will be one micro step at a time. ***hugs*** I hope you find the groove that works for you 
18 Dec 17 by member: Happy*Snappy
Really brilliant advice. Thank you!! I love the well analogy. Chrismas magic happened and the kitchen is back on track. Tile is going up today!  
20 Dec 17 by member: WendyMaq
Sounds like a somewhat long and difficult situation with the person who loves you most is in order... best of luck, wishing you success and I hope it happens sooner than later. 
20 Dec 17 by member: From371to184
Best of luck sounds like it almost finished! Stay strong! 
20 Dec 17 by member: 8Patty

     
 

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