Happy*Snappy's Journal, 10 December 2017

I so wanted something sweet the last few days. Not a physical craving like when I first started lchf but a mental thing. That inner voice that says : Wow, I really miss the creamy sweetness of those Oatmeal creme filled cookies. You know - the HUGE double decker, 500 calorie - no redeeming nutritional value - prepackaged, hydrogenated science experiments? Yea! One of those.

We had gone on an egg run and stopped for a break. The place we usually go had just sold the last of their supply so on to the next option! So, right outside the bathroom was a display of donuts and other sweets and I seriously considered it. That voice wasn't loud but it sure was insistent. Then the numbers started running through my head...500 calories, 56 g of carbs, what would that cookie do to my blood sugar - 250? 260? 300? So not worth ruining what I've spent the last 6 months working so hard to accomplish.

I realize one cookie isn't going to destroy me but I know myself well enough to know -- that's how it starts. If it's ok this time why not next time? I've done really well the last six months so I deserve a treat! I do and I had that awesome experience buying pants that are 5 sizes smaller than when I started. That was my treat - that silly cookie isn't worth the high blood sugar and the myriad damage it does to my body, the nausea from all that sugar, the feeling like crap about what is obviously not a healthy food choice and the thought that the little voice got to me.

I see that voice as the old me...... the one who ate what she wanted, when she wanted and to hell with the long term consequences. The one who eats for reasons other than hunger. She's not liking some of the choices I'm making but she'll live longer and healthier if I keep her voice quieted. She will feel better too. I know she knows that too - she just hasn't completely accepted that this is our life now.......MY life now...... there is no going back.

This is a battle I've been engaged in for years. Sometimes it's not what you're eating - it's what's eating you! Amen to that!
278.0 lb Lost so far: 58.4 lb.    Still to go: 97.0 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.
on diet Happy*Snappy's own diet   losing 7.0 lb a week

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Amen! I gotta tell Ole Girl to just shut up sometimes! I run this!  
10 Dec 17 by member: kmking40
Great post! We can all relate, I'm getting alot better at temptation I use to talk myself out of a thing Outloud, now a voice inside says "keep walking" lol 
10 Dec 17 by member: 8Patty
Good for you silencing the old you! I think we all deal with similar little voices. Like you, to me it’s just not worth the spikes in blood sugar. Sweets were never my thing, it was the other carbs...potatoes, pasta, rice and bread. We are in control!! 💪 
10 Dec 17 by member: ClarityAnn
Nicely written. 
10 Dec 17 by member: kl4bidn1
lol ...8Patty... I've done that until I realized ....oh, man people are looking at me with that ' poor crazy lady ' look. ClarityAnn - sweets were never my thing either which made the whole thing a little surreal. I haven't had any real issues with my kryptonite (potatoes, pasta and bread) lately but I'm sure they are waiting patiently in the wings for their optimal time to ambush me! Thank you again Ches! My body - My rules. I run this nut house, thank you very much. kmking - isn't it funny how those internal conversations go? The arguments can get pretty heated at times.  
10 Dec 17 by member: Happy*Snappy
After these days or day of challenge, I know you have come out stronger- it is definitely something to be proud of - good job - it won't be the last time but you thought it out brilliantly -  
10 Dec 17 by member: johnwentzville
Congrats on winning the internal battle.  
11 Dec 17 by member: Draglist
That is a HUGE triumph! Wonderful news, so happy for you!  
11 Dec 17 by member: KatGoddess
Awesome!! Congrats on winning over that voice. Recently for me it's been the other way around so I need to get back on top and get back to winning :)  
11 Dec 17 by member: Sunny P
I loved reading this. These are thoughts and conversations I have with myself on a regular basis. I did indulge in desert at a dinner out two weeks ago however and was violently ill afterwards. Pain, diarrhea, nausea. As awful as it was, it was a very good lesson. My body does not want or need that crap. 
11 Dec 17 by member: 2426girl

     
 

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