Horseshu1's Journal, 22 September 2017

My hands are somewhat back, but at a high price. I know I've been weenie-whining about physical ailments lately and I apologize. I think it was more to say that "stuff" happens and interferes with the best laid plans. Sometimes it's just one event and sometimes it is a series.

I went to the Rheumatologist Thursday because my hands were too swollen to function and the tips were turning blue even though I had started a high titrate of prednisone. He was baffled, but talked me into a prednisone shot in addition to the titrate (I have a reputation of refusing treatment). He looked at my right ear drum and said that it was a mess and still bleeding. I came home, curled up in my bed and cried long and hard. I just felt like I just drank a gallon of poison and all the hard work for the past 8 months was for naught. That same poison has been playing havoc with my immune system making it ripe for sickness. Just an example of the nasty affects of this drug:
Blood pressure Thursday: 132/78 weight: 143.3 lbs
Blood pressure today: 164/104 weight: 149.9 The numbers today are from a new doctor I've been waiting to see since April, so weight could be off by some, but I already feel it in my waist. Her eyes got big at the blood pressure reading, but "Oh! It's OK it's the prednisone." Why is it OK? I'm sure my A1C is crazy bad right now too (from past experience).

I thought after my good cry yesterday, I was over it, but I started crying in the new doctor's office today as I tried to explain that I am a 67 year old woman who's focus is quality of life and I am NOT Lupus.

So, I've decided today that I need a hard core plan to make it through this mess. And sometimes when "stuff" happens, we will all have to buckle down and think about what we need to do to keep up our healthy lifestyle regardless of what is thrown at us. I really stocked up on good low-carb food and will dedicate myself to the cooking and prep needed to really, really watch my good food. I will measure, measure, measure and use exercise in place of mindless eating that comes as a side effect too. I will need to keep up a new exercise routine that I can do without injury and too much physical stress on the body. I have spent much of the day researching Keto again. I will beat this and beat it good. I am not going back!

Now, you all need to hold me accountable. So, you have your work cut out for you! For example I decided to get my waist length hair cut off today. I drove around the neighborhood SuperCuts 15 times and I still have my hair. I'm a Libra and can appear decisive, but not so much. So, I will lean on this wonderful bunch of people I've gotten to know over my journey. I have watched some of you with bigger problems than I overcome and succeed. Thank you again for all your support, understanding and encouragement.

I close with an oldy, but goodie:

Diet Calendar Entries for 22 September 2017:
793 kcal Fat: 63.41g | Prot: 43.39g | Carb: 11.40g.   Dinner: Ground Beef (80% Lean / 20% Fat), Dofino Havarti cheese, Fried Egg, Green Giant Hass Avocado, Vlasic Dill Pickle Spears, America's Choice Bacon Thick Sliced. Snacks/Other: Coca-Cola Diet Coke with Lime, Bigelow Tea Lemon Ginger Probiotic, Coffee (Brewed From Grounds), Clear American Pineapple Coconut Sparkling Water. more...
2488 kcal Activities & Exercise: Cooking - 30 minutes, Watching TV/Computer - 8 hours, Stairs (Climbing Stairs) - 5 minutes, Stretching (yoga) - 12 minutes, Yard Work (gardening) - 15 minutes, Housework - 45 minutes, Driving - 30 minutes, Shopping - 1 hour and 10 minutes, Sleeping - 9 hours, Resting - 2 hours and 43 minutes, Sitting - 30 minutes, Showering - 20 minutes. more...
on diet Atkins  

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Comments 
Horseshoe, i am so terribly sorry that you are going through all these physical problems. I am keeping you in my prayers. I am seven years older than you are, and i moan about my right knee that needs occasional cortisone shots due to bone on bone grinding, and my scoliosis due to degenerative disk disease, but for my age, i realize how blessed i am that i am not in worse condition, and don't suffer the pain that so many others suffer. If i had to go through all you are going through, i would be the biggest weenie ever! Despite all the pain you are going through, you still manage to try to do the things that will improve your health. Please don't feel bad about crying ~ i have done so with a lot less reason. I think you are very brave and very strong. There comes a point when we just have to release the stress and worry. I think letting loose like that once in a while is actually good for us. I love that you still have your sense of humor, and can laugh about your Erkle experience at the doctor's! And i love your list of things that you are handling well! LOL Looks very much like mine. Hang in there, my friend. 
23 Sep 17 by member: Tai-Lin
Thank you, Tai-Lin. Having worked in the world of men, crying is not something I do often. I have my collection of "cry" movies to get me started, but I didn't need any of them this time. And I forgot to say that I realize how many blessings I have. I am very thankful for all the wonderful things and people in my life. You are one of my inspirations! 
23 Sep 17 by member: Horseshu1
Big hugs and lots ta of loves horseshu Chronic illness is never easy. I know. And frustrating. And difficult. One step forward and 2 steps back sometimes.. Crying is normal Let it all out Be kind to yourself and your body Think of all the good things and people who n your life ( that's what I'm trying to do today) You will turn the corner! You are on this journey to better health for the long haul! You will get there! I am willing you on, for a better day! Have a vent in the safe space here.. have a cry.. then make a plan, one step at a time Big hugs πŸ€— 
23 Sep 17 by member: poppycom
Horseshu, Oh Lady you are doing well! Deep breaths! Stock up on some broth and caffeine free tea or green tea to help with the mindless eating of the cortisone. (I have to have the shots every few months in my knees, shoulder and to block nerves in my head.) Get some guided meditation dialed in from insighttimer dot com or youtube, or just pet and walk those beautiful dogs of yours! Their fur alone would have my BP dropping as I combed them and petted them! LOL grab some Epsom Salts to bathe in from the store. And if you aren't taking at least 200-400mg of magnesium citrate or magnesium chelate a day think about adding it to your diet as well as a probiotic. With Lupus you are probably like me with the autoimmunes and don't need the C. Immune system working okay, just going after wrong stuff! The probiotics help correct that when antibiotics or appendix surgery strip them from our digestion. You are doing good and getting over this one step at a time, Hon. Have you considered paraffin soaks at a nail salon for your hands to improve blood flow? Or maybe acupuncture? My mom did the paraffin with her arthritis and her Lupus in the 80's and 90's and really found it enjoyable. Hang in there! πŸ™†πŸ»Sondra 
23 Sep 17 by member: smprowett
I'm so sorry you are not feeling well. For me it's hard to focus on how I'm eating when I feel bad. I can't give advice because I don't know anything about Lupus or your other health issues. I know when my sister had to take prednisone recently because of an ear problem, it caused severe insomnia and she was miserable for weeks afterwards. So no advice from me, but lots of support. 
23 Sep 17 by member: Fritzy 22
I found the HFLC woe stopped my lupus flareups. I hate prednisone. Keep your chin up. Enjoy the prednisone high and ignore the weight gain and A1C rises. Get better soon. 
23 Sep 17 by member: Bluper
Number 1. ??? let me think, ha ha! 
23 Sep 17 by member: Mal321
Thank you, Poppycorn. Part of my meditation is always the 7 good things about any situation (from Pollyanna). I call them my morning "beatitudes", a hold over from my Irish Catholic childhood. Keeps me centered on all the good in my life. Thank you, SMP. Yep the Magnesium, small amounts of Potassium, Lecithin, Vit. E + my regular vitamin routine is in place. You are the Queen of Magnisium, a much ignored necessity for function. Yes, Fritzy 22, I forgot about the dreaded insominia - up at 2:00 am this morning. Not being able to sleep leads to eating. I have a solution for that too. Will try tonight and hope it works. Bluper I have been blessed long periods of remission for over 40 years and have been LC for much of that time. Not sure it's the answer, as the immune system seems to have it's own mind, but I'm sure it has never hurt. I made it 39 years without any medication, but aspirin (sometimes massive amounts), so this is still relatively new to me and I HATE it. Mal321, It's nice to know I'm not the only one having problems with #1-LOL! 
23 Sep 17 by member: Horseshu1
And I forgot to say thank you! I don't say it enough. I also was in a male dominated field and trained from early on not to be "so dramatic." So I learned to cry silently, if I cried at all... sometimes expressing those emotions as you get older needs to happen though. I am trying to explain to my children that it is not that I am becoming an emotional wimp in my older years... it's that the more memory and associated trauma memories you have associated with specific events or fears the more you actually understand the ramifications of what you are dealing with. Older people can be fearful, yes... and we can be very brave...as in been there, got the t-shirt, ....multiple times! 😘 
23 Sep 17 by member: smprowett

     
 

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