Veronica219's Journal, 29 April 2017

So tomorrow for surely I will begin my journey. Today I basically am upset w/ myself and decided to have some doritos and truth be told I do not even like doritos. I think I ate out of boredom to be honest and I hate that I did it but no point in whining about it now. However at my weight, I have no room for screw ups. Good thing I started this fatsecret just now. Tomorrow I will strive for a better eating habit. Continue getting in my 3k steps til i can work my way up to 10k steps a day. I have to stop being stupid. I know what is bad for me but yet, i tend to go for it anyways. It's no wonder I have so much anxiety. I am afraid that i will die from being so heavy, but yet I go and make a dumb choice like today and then dwell on it all night. Literally losing sleep because of how guilty I feel after I eat shit foods. I need to get it together. I need to realize the harm i am doing to my body. I kow what healthy foods I need to eat. i actually love clean eats, so I don't get what tempts me to be foolish. It is also hard to believe that the food I usually pick out for myself are usually healthy eats, however I will go and snack on my fiance's chips, cookies...I am not gonna tell him what to eat you know. he isn't even big. He's a average built. It does throw me off however cause he'll want take out and if I refuse to eat it, he gets a bit upset. I tell him go ahead eat what you want, it's not like you're obese or anything but why do i have to eat that? Sometimes I will to make him happy, but he told me last night he will support me on this journey. he sees what it has done to me. I have depression, was diagnosed with PTSD, Bipolar2, and tied to that is my panic disorder, minor agoraphobia with hypochondriac tendencies. In truth, I believe most of these issues developed with my obesity. Ever since I got this heavy, I have lost myself. I truly hate the person i see in the mirror. I used to have some confidence. now, I am just so closed off and uncomfortable in public situations and I no longer wanna be this way...So I am here. Going to truly try this time because I really want this.

Diet Calendar Entry for 29 April 2017:
854 kcal Fat: 64.38g | Prot: 16.22g | Carb: 54.93g.   Breakfast: Whole Foods Market Natural Peanut Butter, Sara Lee Butter Bread, Grapefruit (Pink and Red). Snacks/Other: Sour Cream, Doritos Nacho Cheese Tortilla Chips (28g). more...

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Comments 
Just take one day at a time, it's hard but you can do it! 
29 Apr 17 by member: eh12345!!!
It's hard in the beginning, but stick to it and don't berate yourself for not being perfect. It's in the trying that you will begin to see results, and it will begin to get easier. Just accept the hunger pangs (they will diminish in not too long a time), accept the boredom (you will find other entertainment besides food), accept the limits of your movement (you will increase your physical abilities). Keep at it and don't give up.  
29 Apr 17 by member: MCslimmer
Take it one day at a time and know that you're doing your best. Don't be hard on yourself if you mess up occasionally. The first 2 weeks are toughest. Then you will be on a roll and when the pounds come off it will be very encouraging and you will want to focus on that more easily. Good luck!  
29 Apr 17 by member: Arianne18
Thank you all for the inspiration! I appreciate it <3 I am going to try my best to keep with it. 
29 Apr 17 by member: Veronica219
I was bored 30 min ago decided to go for a run, felt really good, try that next time :) 
29 Apr 17 by member: ejunk1010
I needed you for inspiration. Got 20 off then plateaued and nothing helped now I am off course big Time. 
29 Apr 17 by member: Mama Lola
When I started on a VLCHF diet, I happened to read here about a free ebook available at Amazon (Never Binge Again : Reprogram Yourself to Think Like a Permanently Thin Person) and checked it out. While I'm not a fan of "cute" ways to remember stuff, I have to say I did find it helpful, especially in the beginning. (I'm down 40+ lbs.) You might want to check it out, especially given you may experience some variation in mood due to change in your diet/carb consumption. Good luck! 
29 Apr 17 by member: kjace
Record the Doritos in your daily intake. They are just food. Could you have made a better choice? Sure, but you will work on it. You don't need to be perfect to be successful. You just need to be conscious of the choices you are making and how they affect your health. FatSecret will keep you conscious so you are all set. 
29 Apr 17 by member: Officially39
Best wishes in accomplishing your goals. 
29 Apr 17 by member: jnix911
Your not alone and it's not all your fault . Like most Americans we become addicted to sugar physical and emotionally. Many studies have proven it to be just as powerful as a heroin addiction...and when our bodies withdraw from it we have those "withdrawal " symptoms... It's definitely not easy and don't beat yourself up.. We are only human and remember this is a lifestyle change so one small step at a time . You signed up for this app/ site -so right there is a big step in the right direction 😊 I've been following the Ketogenic lifestyle for the past 3 months and it's a game changer . I constantly feel full and I have more energy than ever. It's basically a stricter Atkins . I don't miss sugar and I don't crave it . The foods allowed keep you satisfied..It took my body a good 2 weeks to really adjust but it's been easy. I started at 155 in Feb and down to 141. Check it out sometime . I'm here if u want to chat as well. no headaches  
29 Apr 17 by member: Yankeechick4life
slow changes and do something positive for yourself. it won't happen overnight. slowly introduce healthy food options. slowly introduce exercise. little by little you will see results. but most of all focus on positive thoughts.  
29 Apr 17 by member: Jennifer Matthias
You can do it! #walkIToff  
29 Apr 17 by member: melsparks1
You can do it!! 
30 Apr 17 by member: derf aloiv
All those diagnoses that you mentioned can be symptoms of hormonal imbalances caused by dietary imbalance. Google Dr. Eric Berg on mental health and diet. He has some very informative videos. Up your potassium and iodine, and ditch the carbs. Ditching the carbs will help your mental clarity and mood in a matter of days, then hormonal healing will be a longer project. You can do this. I follow a Keto diet mostly for mental health, but the weight loss is great too. Best to you, Veronica. 
30 Apr 17 by member: erikahollister
Thanks you all I have been taking notes on some of the suggestions and will look into them.  
30 Apr 17 by member: Veronica219
I decided today to throw my doritos and my lemon cake in the trash, it was not an easy decision but it will be worth 😊 
30 Apr 17 by member: Keilin_4

     
 

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