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Day Two of new regimen.
I decided to go back to a strict diet and exercise regimen on December 10, 2011. That's the night my aunt passed away. She was only 38 and passed away due to complications from her diabetes. She didn't take care of herself, her diabetes, her neuropathy, and everything that followed. It was a sudden, unexpected passing that caught everybody off guard. The days that followed were hard.
This is the first death in my family since I was 13, ten years ago. So, as you can see, I haven't really had to deal with death growing up. This hit me so hard. But, as I kept going, I realized that I needed to take something away from her life, and ultimately, take something from her passing. Otherwise, it's like she wasn't even here with us. I needed to learn a lesson from my wonderful, fun loving aunt who was taken from us too soon. I needed to start looking after my health. I needed to stop the fast food. I needed to stop the emotional eating. I need to stop feeling bulky. I need to take time for myself before it's too late.
So, after I made that decision, I weighed myself on December 12, 2011. A sad 260 pounds. I've gained and lost before, but this is the most I've ever been. I have been ignoring my weight since I still fit in my clothes (although not as comfortably as before, but when you want to ignore something, you find ways to). But this was a sad shocker. I was disappointed in myself. Two years ago, I was 247 (still not great, but less than now), and I committed myself to weight loss and got myself down to 225 after a few months. I felt so proud of myself, and the clothes started to look better and better. The wiggly bits weren't as wiggly. My lovely love handles weren't as handle-y. I was happy.
Aaaaaand I gained it all back after graduating college, and then some. It's difficult as I started a desk job, and a comfortable work routine.
But now, I'm recommitted. I need that feeling of accomplishment. I need that feeling of strength and endurance. I want it all back.
I'm doing this for myself. I'm doing this for my health. I'm doing this for my aunt, and I need to prove to her and myself and my family that I give a damn and I want to live a long, healthy life. I don't want them to lose me over something I have 100% control over. It's not fair to them.
So, here I go again.
Diet Calendar Entries for 02 January 2012:
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1842 kcal
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Fat: 53.34g | Prot: 95.25g | Carb: 265.68g.
Breakfast: Berry Veggie Machine 100% Fruit & Veg Juice Smoothie, Fiber Plus Antioxidants Cereal - Cinnamon Oat Crunch, Milk (Nonfat). Lunch: Honey Mustard, Provolone Cheese, 6" Turkey Breast, Baked BBQ Chips. Dinner: Dark Chocolates, House Salad (No Dressing), Outback Special (6 oz), Dressed Baked Potato with Sour Cream & Chives. more...
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3510 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Walking (slow) - 2/mph - 20 minutes, Exercise machine (slow) - 33 minutes, Weight Training (moderate) - 10 minutes, Bicycling (leisurely) - <10/mph - 30 minutes, Resting - 14 hours and 27 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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