viktoriadekany's Journal, 05 December 2016

From Today, I will write a very honest and personal blog about how I leave my bad eating habits. I know it's going to be very hard, painful and long journey, but I will do my best to have a healthy-balanced life!

Well, well, well.... Something is definitely wrong with me since I came back to the UK. Over the summer, I managed to loose 20 kilograms, which is one of the best thing happened in my life. I was so determined and enthusiastic that nobody could stopped me to reach my goals.
Ever since I got the body shape I was begging, I started to incorporate more and more cheat days into my diet. I wanted to build muscles, which requires to have more carbohydrates in a daily basis. However, I always loved pasta, breads and greasy foods, I deleted all of these types of food from my mind. I know if I would start eating them again - even just a bite -, I could not stop it.
And there we go, that's happened. Not with the bread, but with the fully fatty nuts. Roasted & salted peanuts. One day, I just starving to get a little bit of them, and since then I could not stop having them! It was almost 1,5 months ago now. I promised to myself every day that will be the last time I eat peanuts, uhhum, you can guess it was not.
Then it got worst. Now I had a situation 2-3 times when I was overeating, and I mean massive overeating. Chocolate, Peanuts of course.., Popcorn, Puding, Cakes.... I felt myself full but I could not stop eating! It's horrible! Then, I sat down and thought deeply what is wrong with me.
I just only guessing, but I think my body wants to message me something. The main problem is that I find eating relaxing which makes me happy. I have to learn how to separate these feelings and concentrate on to find a balance between healthy and fatty foods. But it's really hard. I feel I can't be in the middle, I only can be on one side. Everything, or nothing. This comes with my personality haha.
So today, I made a promise to myself. I will not let my brain take away the body what I always wanted! I will fight with my eating problems, however I know it's going to kill me sometimes. Now, I don't have any peanuts at home. There are some gluten and diary free cake left in an emergency case haha, but I won't touch them.
Tomorrow is a new chance of a better version of myself. I really hope I can keep my strict diet...fingers crossed

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Comments 
Well this certainly sounds familiar! You are not the only one. You have to get out of the "feeding mode" created by the bottomless pit hunger from too many carbs and/or your trigger food. Everyone goes through this. My trigger food is peanuts too, and now I am finding it is almond butter since I switched from peanut butter to almond butter.YES-your promise to yourself is great!!You can do this!  
05 Dec 16 by member: LightAir
You can do it! I love peanuts esp the dill pickle peanuts. I started telling myself peanuts are for elephants lol. I eat them still but just a handful to get my craving down! They are better than some things (donuts) 
05 Dec 16 by member: DoritoOKC
I binge on peanuts too.The recommended serving size is never enough for me. 
05 Dec 16 by member: UmmBilal

     
 

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