Your short post pulled on my heart. I have been in dark and tired places following surgery and medical issues. I hope that you will find balance eventually. For now please take it a moment at a time, being kind to yourself...knowing that your exhaustion is normal and your body needs time to rest and heal. I know that anesthesia and medication reactions also hurt me terribly...was wack for a long time. Not sure if you have the same experience but perhaps consider that what you are "in" today is not what you choose, but what you have been put in temporarily. Take little steps to get back to your space. I think just logging in here is a huge step in that direction. Take care of you.