lilianisann's Journal, 25 July 2016

Well, first of all, you need to stop beating yourself up young lady. You underwent a procedure that is pretty scary and life changing. We don't wake up one day 50 pounds heavier, we get there one pound at a time. That is how we remove it as well. These are habits that we have established throughout our lives. I wish I could wake up one moring craving only foods that are healthy for me. Unfortunately, I still love cookies, potatoes and ice cream. AND I plan to eat them too, but I have to learn portion control. Honey, you are not horrible, you are human. Give yourself a break, love yourself and get back on that regemine. Maybe we can be buddies and encourage each other. 

I have never had bypass so please excuse what I know as only second hand of friends who have. Letting go of body weight was very scary for them and they reacted with a variety of coping strategies...one chose to defy the doctor's orders instead of deal with anger towards self, another attempted to eat how he had, to attempt to have a sense of control and avoid grieving the changes in his life. Might be good to look under the surface and consider what is driving your choices, and calm the scary voices. If you need help with this, reach out here, but you don't have to do so by beating yourself up. Just say help folks will step up. Take care, you are recently post-surgery and might be having reaction still to the anesthesia, or body trauma you experienced. I am not a religious person, but know that I send you warm thoughts. Find your balance. j 

I hope things are getting better day by day. Support is here if you needed. Best wishes. 

Thank you all so much. I really appreciate your help.