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always a damn stick in my spokes...... went for my bike ride ... feels like 100 degrees out. I'm now exhausted, I was tired to begin with. I don't get to play video games all night and sleep in, or have naps... Or breaks ... I woke up, got dressed, took care of the toddler and other two, got steaks and pork chops in marinade, cleaned half the kitchen, and table from the boys game night... then watered the plants outside, played with the toddler and went for a bike ride.....I get home and husband just got up and was talking about a magazine and how pilots make blah blah blah a year... I'm panting... I heard some music and asked what it was... then I hear "why are you always weird after a work out.. you just act weird... I'm gonna hang out somewhere else..." then went outside to avoid me...
I just did a bunch of stuff and am tired. instead of asking "how was your morning? did you get to bike long?" hes pissed at my "attitude" ... which by the way was upbeat until about 10 mins ago.........
first he seems all pissy when I start losing weight.... thought I was losing weight to leave him so he seem apprehensive about it..... now my post work out attitude is unacceptable? am I not supposed to work out now?
I'm not only battling my weight but everyone's attitude around it. ..... if it's fear, jelousy, competition... rarely it seems anyone (not here) is legitimately and whole heartedly happy about what I'm doing......
do people just want me fat and unhealthy and die of a heart attack next year?? it's like when I quit being a drunk ... lost a ton of friends cause I wasn't a joke anymore.
sometimes I just want to live alone again .... shut EVERYONE out. but I guess that's why people on the biggest loser fail... the shut out the world, lose weight, come back and can't deal with life and the people around them.
urrggg I'm so annoyed.... I'm just trying to stay alive! whatever..... he got used to me losing weight... he will get used to my post work out attitude too... he will have to.
Diet Calendar Entry for 25 June 2016:
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1116 kcal
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Fat: 82.97g | Prot: 65.14g | Carb: 23.73g.
Breakfast: Coffee (Brewed From Grounds), Land O'Lakes Heavy Whipping Cream, Mt. Olive Sweet Relish, Hellmann's Real Mayonnaise, Boiled Egg. Dinner: Beef Top Sirloin (Trimmed to 1/8" Fat), Pecan Nuts, Harris Teeter Homestyle Meatballs, Onions, Prime Time Sweet Mini Peppers. more...
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1 to 20 of 29
 Comments
Hang in there, Hunter! If hubby is feeling insecure, there's is really nothing you can do to reassure him except continue to be there everyday, doing your normal wife/mother routine. Pick a time when you are both in a good mood, and unlikely to be interrupted by the kiddies, and talk to him about how you feel, how his attitude makes you feel, and what his concerns are. Set "rules" at the start so it doesn't become a fight, and set a time limit so it doesn't drag on forever. Hopefully you can both come out of the discussion with a better understanding of the other's point of view, but continue to recognize that the primary person you are losing weight for is you! Good luck!! (Oh, and recognize that no one ever said marriage was easy! But it is worth it, if you stick it out!)
25 Jun 16 by member: pandasmom
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Everyone's weird after a workout. Blood loss to the brain. That's my opinion.
25 Jun 16 by member: northernmusician
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I know he is insecure.. his last wife... she was.. well... a p.o.s.... she lost weight and cheated and ran off and ditched him and the kids. so I get it..... it scares him. it's still frustrating that I'm always paying for her mistakes..... urrrggg I wish I could punch through her face...... .......... ya northern thats what I thought, you're all tired and body is shaking and just blah.... I didn't think it was that big of a deal. but here we are....
25 Jun 16 by member: 8hunter6
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This reminds me of the Mother Teresa inspired sayings: People are often unreasonable, illogical, self centered, cruel and mean - forgive them anyways. If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior selfish motives, be kind anyway. If you are successful, you may win false friends and enemies, be successful anyways. If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyways. If you are happy, people may be jealous. Be happy anyways. The good you do today, may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyways. Give the world the best you have, it may never be enough. But give your best anyways. For in the end, you see, it was between you and God and never about them anyways.
And as your FS sister - I say "People won't care or be supportive about your WOE... But keep up your WOE anyway!" Look at the results! You rock! Rock on.
25 Jun 16 by member: Lifesatrip
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that there is what I needed to hear.... that is how my grandpa wanted me to be... I don't want to scare my husband but i need to do this.... I may not always have motivation to work out... but i need to do what i can now... I may not always have the use of my legs, so I should use them now. I will do it for me and the fates. thank you lifesatrip :)
25 Jun 16 by member: 8hunter6
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Ack! That's just awful. I'm sorry to hear that :-( What Panda said, though - your goal is a gift to yourself.
25 Jun 16 by member: Samiam9663
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Yea he's feeling insecure. Sucks for you sucks for him :( try to empathize with him at first and insure him nothing is changing except you deciding to live a healthier life. This insecurity will pass I know it! As he gets used to it.
25 Jun 16 by member: kitten75
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Ya its kinda crappy .. but I do need to be patient with him. he's been through a lot and all these changes must be scary for him
25 Jun 16 by member: 8hunter6
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Your fat loss and desire to get healthier and fitter should be making your husband happy and proud...Sometimes we humans don't communicate very well...especially when things build up that could be unrelated like his fear generated from his last marriage. I like your last post, he is probably worried that this could happen again.
25 Jun 16 by member: Steven Lloyd
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I can relate, my wife pisses me off to no end. Yesterday was a prime example, but when I was about at my wit's end and ready to blow a gasket I took mental inventory, thought about all her good traits and just sort of deflated my own anger, talked to her very lovingly and sweet and did the best I could to make her feel special. It didn't help that Lilly was being extremely hyper, talking over everyone, and trying to make a hammock for her dolly in the middle of the living room. I'm an introvert and a lot of noise puts me in red-line anxiety attack territory, I got rid of as much ambient noise as I could and tried to reign in everyone's tempers. It seemed to work, but don't let me kid you in any way into thinking it was easy.
25 Jun 16 by member: 1point21gigawatts
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That sounds familiar to me for some reason - my husband is very supportive 0of me...but I have a couple women friends who have attitude wit me because I eat well and take care of myself. WE just returned from a 9 mile bike ride, 98 degrees and against the wind! I thought I would effing die out there...I am wiped out, too!
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It happens...people are threatened by 'change'. That is why I seek out friends that are supportive, otherwise I totally lose my mojo. (And the only ones I can find are online, sigh). Most around me are obese and accepting that 'age' brings weight. I refuse to accept that. I know I am not getting younger, and I don't want to be 'mutton dressed as lamb', and I am not competing with the teenage girls, and no, I am not anorexic because I care about my health... I am going to be the best, fittest, most wonderful version of me that I can be. I saw a quote" I am doing this for ME". Hopefully the ones around you will come around, but if not, at least you are healthier and happier overall. Do it for YOU! Because you are worth it!! :)
25 Jun 16 by member: FreeNinja
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Hunter, this has been my experience, especially when my child was young. I worked and I did all the shopping, cleaning, laundry, cooking, taxi-service. I was also trying to keep up with my weight loss and I was doing terrible, so I cut a few of my household tasks to make more time for working out. I took the attention off of them and focused it on me, they did not like that. I was told I was selfish, had a bad attitude, unsocial. The family feels it when the light beams of your attention turns off of them and shines on yourself and they feel threatened by it. Because the only reason they should lose your attention is if you don't love them anymore. You know you are not allowed to have feelings, or be sick because your chores still must be done. SuperMomSyndrome!
25 Jun 16 by member: debrafrederick
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Just remember... It's always lonely at the top, but misery loves company! I come in contact with those people every day. Instead of letting it bother me, I've learned to ignore them & be my own best friend! ;)
25 Jun 16 by member: Caterpillar2Butterfly
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steve, ya I know deep down he is worried... he comes from a family where everyone was divorced numerous times.... but my family? there was one divorce and it was for very good reason.... we stick things out.
25 Jun 16 by member: 8hunter6
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Oh phil. ... I'm the same way! I NEED QUIET TIME LIKE I NEED AIR AND WATER! but kids and husband don't understand my need for quiet .... when everyone gets loud and crazy ... I lose it..... most times I just take a deep breath and sneak off to the bathroom, turn the fan on and sit on the tub until I get my head right. sometimes I have to take inventory too... like in this situation lol
25 Jun 16 by member: 8hunter6
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HCB...seems my chick friends won't even talk to me anymore... all I got is my sister when she has time, husband, my one dude friend and you guys.... I can handle the rest but even though husband has issues I wish I didn't get my head snapped off when Im trying to do good things. but i probably do it to him too. .... 9 miles!!! holy crap! with a mix of two bike rides and elliptical I did around 6 and I feel like death... good for you !!! wow
25 Jun 16 by member: 8hunter6
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freeninja omg I get that... I need this place ... he'll come around .. he does eventually and in the mean time I'll keep doing what I'm doing :D
25 Jun 16 by member: 8hunter6
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Holy crap debra! that's exactly it... everyday I say atleast once, god forbid anything actually bad happens to me... " even from the grave they would still want me to make dinner! it's so annoying. but such is the mentality of kids I guess... but really .. I can't get sick or injured because I just have too much to do.
25 Jun 16 by member: 8hunter6
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caterpillar... with most I don't care as much...just different with husband.... especially since he's been trying to get me to work out for like 6 years
25 Jun 16 by member: 8hunter6
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