rwaller7483's Journal, 04 June 2016

For what it's worth, I would record it anyway. Not because it changes anything "on paper", but because it's a slippery slope if you start to treat the log like a testimonial, and not just ...well, a log, a tool, place to account as best as you can so that you have the most knowledge and accurate history you can create to help you along the way, as you work to break old habits (because I swear sometimes that's why we do things like this - the other day, we bought doughnuts. I ate part of mine before realizing, you know, the "memory" of what this is was better than what it REALLY is!....rather than going on autopilot, waiting for some moment of satisfaction that never, ever comes. So log....log to learn, to start to break that cycle, those hold habits and patterns. Log, because it's not a confessional, (unless you treat it like one!), it's just a source of information...for YOU. And please know...I don't say this without sympathy at ALL, but I just feel that sometimes, the avoidance thing is part of what keeps people in those cycles. The weird guilt-blame-trap where we punish ourselves unnecessarily. Don't get me wrong - I do think it's good to ask questions as to "why", it's good to be curious and interested about what goes on inside your head, work it all out, that's part of sucess! but....it's NOT good if you go to far, where that becomes a dark place, because that's where all the traps lie - that, time and time again, I see people record here in their journals. (I read a lot more than I comment, and it is both frustrating and relatable to see people loop back over and over into bad habits, lament them, then repeat them). The only way to break that cycle is to face it head on and beat it where it starts, which is from a place of self-knowledge. Turn a cold, clinical eye to what happened - see the questions it created for you to resolve, and focus on that, as you log it.  

I agree. I was at a family birthday. Domino pizzas. I am not that keen on pizzas. I knew I had gone over and thought of not recording but I would only be fooling myself . I had eaten it . When I saw how many calls in the three slices I had eaten I was shocked. I should have stuck with the chicken kickers. So I have learnt I should not ever eat pizza. It's not worth it.  

I agree with the above. Logging everything is more important than any perceived criticism ... Including that from yourself. You have to be able to look at it and know the causes of the results. RGG is so right about having to know cycles to break them so logging honestly is the best thing you can do even if it looks ugly. Lord knows, I have a great day frequently then once I log the wine shake my head at it. Take care Matey boy. Don't be so hard on yourself  

Wise words, RGG. It's so disappointing when you breach your self-discipline with a doughnut or chips then realize you didn't even enjoy it that much. Rwaller 7483, you lost 100lbs at one point - you're a winner! Don't beat yourself up over a one-day slip. Get back on that horse! 

Cheers everyone. Don't get me wrong, the bad habits are far less frequent and far less gratifying than they used to be. It's just the psychological thing again, I knew how bad it was for me but I did it anyway. It's kinda like trial and error.. even if you can't really call it error, that implies mistake, like you don't know what you're doing... I suppose whether I log it or not, I've given myself something to react to. It is disappointing to breach self-discipline and a few years ago I'd have done it again, again, and again. This time I've reacted positively. I've counted everything since Friday, I cycled about 20 miles yesterday overall, back at the gym in the morning... Back on the horse :)