I am just going to record my thoughts without filter for storytelling or PC correct remarks. I think this will help me own up to the constant head talk that undermines me.
OK...I get it. I am 62 yrs old. What, therefore, is the use? Should I still care ...? If I do not care ...who will care for me? Caring has its attractions for it brings about in me...a bright attitude. If I am healthy....strong I am there /here for others in my life. I have missed so many opportunities . I am ashamed. Caring for myself puts me in place to care for others and thus I am not ashamed of myself. I choose my words and actions so much carefully...if I care.
I become aimless, bitter and small without "caring" for myself. Why is this so hard to learn in my life. So another reason to continue with this food and exercise is to lessen the the aimlessness of "not caring".
It is not so hard as it is not easy to stay vigilant. When I break it down to today...not the future...I do it. So I begin again with a smidgen of hope that this is truely my "begin" again.
Diet Calendar Entries for 31 May 2016:
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1168 kcal
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Fat: 53.61g | Prot: 93.92g | Carb: 71.43g.
Breakfast: Harris Teeter Blueberries, Dannon Light & Fit Yogurt - Strawberry (Container), Aquafina Water (16.9 oz). Lunch: Pickles, Denny's Sliced Tomatoes (3 Slices), Chicken Breast (Oven Roasted, Fat Free, Sliced), Mayonnaise, Tyson Foods Boneless Skinless Chicken Breasts, Aquafina Water (16.9 oz), Coffee. Dinner: Aquafina Water (16.9 oz), Wegmans Cobb Salad with Dressing. Snacks/Other: Quaker Rice Cakes - Lightly Salted, Essensia All Natural Creamy Peanut Butter. more...
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2717 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Weight Training (moderate) - 25 minutes, Resting - 14 hours and 50 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours, Stretching (yoga) - 30 minutes, Meditation - 15 minutes. more...
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Comments
Looks like last year you lost 30 lbs. and now you've caught it before gaining much back. That's the trick. I've found I need time to stabiize losses before losing again. It's an effort at our age; the body does not want to keep losing, but maybe not that some time has elapsed you can move it back down again. The caring for yourself is so complex: physiological, metabolic, psychological, social, soulful. We are not simple, we humans. At this point for me, it's about health and trying to recapture mine from the metabolic syndrome that I've slipped into that affects all aspects of my human experience. But it's hard work, and very worth it.
31 May 16 by member: erikahollister
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