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I wish I wasn't so obsessed with weighing, I do it far more often than I weigh in on here. I think my scales are quite a bit out but they're consistently out. Whatever my actual starting point was, and wherever I actually am now, I've lost a couple of stone this year, I'm getting into clothes that were well off last year and I am fitter so that's good.
I think I'm gonna reset my diet when I get to work though. Maybe throw away the scales I've got here at home. I work at a hospital and by the entrance there's one of those all in machines, it'll measure your weight, fat, BMI etc. It doesn't move, it's massive, it should be more accurate than what I've got here anyway. Still, I am kinda sad that it's there. Well, where it is. The place I work, it's four hospitals in one massive building and this weight machine is just in the entrance of the children's hospital. Figured it's a bit misplaced there, but whatever. I remember the first time I used it, about a month ago now. It was a Sunday so things are generally a bit quieter in the area anyway, but when I went down to use it there were a few people waiting anyway. There was a woman with her two daughters using it, they must've been 6 and 8 or around that. It's a weird one, on the one hand it's good to start early, maybe if I'd been more conscious of my health from a younger age I wouldn't be where I am now. But I can see the negatives of introducing children at such a young age to the whole weight obsession. Not necessarily obviously, but there's the potential that by doing so, people are literally setting the wheels rolling on a road of insecurity and obsession. Who has ever stood on a set of scales and thought "ok, that's fine"? I've read stories of children being upset when their Nintendo Wii has told them how obese they are. I know from experience, that once an idea is put into your head it's so hard to shake it, even if it's wrong. And it can grow, it can spiral, it can damage you. We've got such an unhealthy obsession with weight when really, the fact of the matter is there'll be people my height out there, 30lb lighter or heavier than me who are healthier than me. Our shapes and sizes say nothing about us as people but people will act like it does. They'll look at someone overweight and just see an overweight person, they'll see a lazy person, they'll see a greedy person. They won't see what's underneath, they won't see underlying health or psychological problems and they won't see how their narrow minded, judgemental prejudice is harmful. Weight isn't everything but we act like it is.
I really want to stop focussing on a number on a machine. There are so many more positives to focus on. How long it takes to get out of breath compared to how long it used to take, what clothes you can fit into that you couldn't before. The things that you can't necessarily quantify but are more important than any number - how you feel. But I'm just another part of this obsessive culture, I'm as susceptible as anyone else.
I've just been looking at my history on here before I start the diet thing again with the scales at work. Can't believe I've been on here nearly 6 years.. Don't think I'll ever not be on here, or something similar at least. It's weird looking back, looking at the progress and backward steps I've made over that time, remembering where I was at various points of my life. Thinking about how I managed to do what I did and why it went wrong again, and again. I don't think I'll ever achieve a balance that I'm happy with.
Diet Calendar Entries for 07 May 2016:
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1492 kcal
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Fat: 39.77g | Prot: 49.21g | Carb: 223.33g.
Breakfast: Soy Milk, Rude Health Honey Nut Granola. Lunch: Mozzarella Cheese, Sainsbury's Brioche Rolls, Tesco Wild Rocket, Fry's Chicken Style Burgers. Dinner: Hellmann's Garlic Mayonnaise, Kingsmill Tasty Wholemeal Bread, Quorn Turkey & Stuffing Slices, Tesco Wild Rocket. Snacks/Other: Pepsi Pepsi (Can), Gala Apples, Kettle Chips Mozzarella & Pesto Lentil Curls, Go Ahead! Yoghurt Breaks - Forest Fruit, Bananas, Tesco Californian Raisins. more...
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4942 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Bicycling (moderate) - 13/mph - 50 minutes, Walking (moderate) - 3/mph - 2 hours, Desk Work - 7 hours, Vibrating Platform Machine - 10 minutes, Running - 6/mph - 20 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 5 hours and 20 minutes, Weight Training (moderate) - 20 minutes. more...
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