ny_shelly's Journal, 01 May 2016

Hi Everyone - Thanks for the nice buddy comments on the day I flaked out. I had a good birthday weekend the weekend of April 8 but I did not eat on my plan. Then after I came back I got super sick for over a week.

The last two weeks I have been struggling to recommit to my plan. I talked to someone about this idea - recommitting to your plan. It is a very non-judgmental way to think of getting back on plan.

I hid for the last two weeks. I didn't want to come back here and talk about falling off the wagon. It's really hard to stay on a plan when you have been doing the same behavior for over 30 years. I was successful until I thought about going into the weekend situation where I didn't feel "in control" of my eating. You know, the type where even though you really are always in control you feel like you aren't because who wants to tell their 82 year old Aunt that you aren't eating her homemade ravioli? Who wants to tell their parents, no ice cream and cake for my birthday? Who wants to tell their daughter no wine with dinner and no appetizers, salad only, thanks.

I have a hard time with those situations. When I am home and just following my "normal" routine - work, home, going out occasionally - it's hard enough but I hang in there. But when you are dealing with a level about that - I am just not there yet I guess.

I am learning to be non-judgmental about these situations. Yes, I fell off the wagon. It does not mean I can't try again. It doesn't mean I can't come here and talk about it with my Fat Secret buddies. I am recommitting today and so far it has been hard, but I am hanging in there. Thanks for being there!