|
I have upped my daily goal to 13000 steps and 2 hours and 10 minutes of activity. Trainer workout 3 days a week and am building lean muscle and gaining strength. I cheated though. I felt skinny one day so I stepped on the scale. It said 1 pound gone. Today it said 2 pounds higher. Granted I know that my clothes are fitting differently and I am trading muscle for fat but I really thought I would see something on the scale. We leave for Vegas next Thursday so I am hoping that an inch will disappear from my hips so I can wear the swimsuit I have. I feel like one day I am going to wake up and my body will say "Hey, for all the hard work you are doing here's a couple inches and a few pounds gone today." For the next week I am going to do something I hate and record everything I put in my body. Somewhere there is a breakdown in communication. Either I am not eating enough and my body wants to keep it or my meals are off. I also think I may have to face the emotional demon head on and get that off my chest. I have not driven by my grandmothers house since I sold it (I was the realtor) a year ago. This house was a home I had gone to for 40 years and grief is too much for me to bear. A super sweet young lady bought it who felt a strong connection to the home because she sews and so did my grandma. She was going to use the same sewing room so I know grandma would be really happy. But I just feel a big hole. My dad has also been diagnosed with a bone marrow disease recently and the prognosis is 50% make it 5 years. I think if I just let myself feel it will ultimately allow my body to release the toxic weight. One day at a time.
|