ultra_dietgirl's Journal, 07 November 2009


Yeah, for some reason last night, after six months of behaving myself for the most part... i decided to have fat kid day. Oh yes.. I do mean fat kid day... and ate roughly 80% of Salt and vingera chips.... not just any bag...the super club bag size from Costco. And that was after having a carbs feast for the day.... most of which I didnt even really want, but was in the "must eat crap" mode. I am still looking for my owners manual on this body to figure out how to turn this elicit feature off for good.

Not sure where that came from!! lol There was no good reason, or bad reason for it to be honest.

Back on track today for sure.. but damn did my tummy hurt last night.

I think my old frame of mind is still there- telling me I want to do that stuff, but in reality - i felt kinda sick and am just not there anymore.

Its funny how after losing the weight, our minds remain the same. I mean after 56 lbs of weight loss, I dont feel any different in my head, but I am really not used to this body. There is etra skin now, and flatter tummy, and my thighs dont hurt from rubbing together..... I actually miss running- very odd to say that in my world. Im still me, but with weird bones closer to the skin that keep freaking me out. Thought the bump on the back of my neck was cancer until my boyfriend discovered it was simply my spine that I can now feel. VERY WEIRD.

yesterday was my former self trying to bring back old habits... but all I saw was that even though the habit came back for a day - it was not satisfying like it used to be.
Its strange... good strange. Good to know Im really done with fat kid days. Even if they do creep up semi annually.



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