Ms Elizabeth's Journal, 03 August 2015

I seem to have some sort of.. healthy/unhealthy battle going on inside myself. I'm entering the food zen portion of low carb. At least I reach a low carb food zen I don't know about anyone else. Without a bunch of crap food in my system I get mellow. I'm able to handle things better. I'm less emotional about the dumb stuff. All of this equals liquid gold because over the weekend it was me and a 3 yr old and an 11 month old in a giant truck hauling around a huge square bale wagon over hills into the great beyond. I didn't leave a single finger indent on the steering wheel. Then I got to feeling adventurous and we tore apart a garden that was being overrun by weeds. The kids helped.. I didn't hyperventilate. Sure we lost a plant or two but.. well we had fun and I was mellow enough to not panic that the baby was throwing dirt into his hair.. because his brother showed him how.. and dirt in your hair is.. funny? That's what baths are for right? See?? Mellow. I love it. As someone who suffers from anxiety.. alot.. mellow is a stage of bliss.

The only problem is I go from bliss to I WANT A COOKIE!!! Apparently that's the sugar withdrawls talking. It doesn't help that the preteen is gone for another week, hubby is apparently on a diet and apparently when we went shopping last we throught we needed a large number of cookies because we usually do.. I have them all out of sight so out of mind.. until I remember. We have cookies! I want a cookie! Cooooooookie!!! Luckily I have a picture of myself looking like a walrus.. and beets. Yes beets. Don't ask me why but they work. I'm a beet novice so my mother in law took some and pickled them for me.. sweet.. and dirt. That's the taste. Sweet dirt. The after taste is.. dirt. They are clean. They just taste like dirt. Maybe I grew them wrong. I don't know. I get my sweet fix and then have an after taste of dirt that kills any cookie cravings though. So beets.. who knew. Is it a sign I may need a straight jacket to eat something I know will leave the aftertaste of dirt? Maybe. But well.. eh. Too mellow to care. Bring on the beets!

And now.. I nap. Because I'm tired and destroying a garden with ragweed has left me stuffed up with a leaky eye. oooh.. maybe this could be reason for an early exit at work. If I sniffle and leak enough I could go home.. and.. I don't know. But I could do something. Like nap. ooooh nap.