Nivie's Journal, 06 July 2015

I CAN NOT BELIEVE IT. I try not to get excited about numbers, especially when they're as sudden a drop as this one is...I know numbers go up and down and I don't want to be disappointed when this inevitably goes up...BUT THIS IS IT. This isn't just any other number. This is THE number. My first (at that point ONLY) goal when I started out on this journey with 17.6 kgs (38.8 lbs) to lose. I know now that I still have some way to go...but I'll have to lower my FS goal weight for that now. How exciting!

Three more things:

1. Why I'm lowering my goal & why that scares me: I've lost some weight...but I still don't look fit. I still wear the same clothes and I STILL haven't got into a serious exercise routine. Changing this is my main goal now. I'd like to know what it's like to be fit and at my ideal weight. Call it scientific curiosity. :p I know I may not get there - I've been overweight for as long as I can remember and I don't even know if I can realistically expect to ever be considered 'slim' but I'd like to try.
My goal is to start exercising daily. The main reason I'm apprehensive about my new goal weight is because I'm scared to hope...only to realise it's too unrealistic. So that's my deal with myself. The exercise should help give a little extra boost, which makes me fear that lower number a little less.

2. What I think (hope) caused this sudden drop: PHAT FUDGE. This may not even be true - only this next week's numbers will tell - but I made it yesterday for the first time (home-made tahini + ghee + cocoa + the tiniest amounts of cinnamon, salt, Splenda & vanilla extract) and had exactly one ice-cube-sized piece last night.

3. Thank you: All of you. For reading my rants and rambling notes to self. This public-private little world of FS is such a positive environment for us to try to improve ourselves and learn to love ourselves.

143.3 lb Lost so far: 29.5 lb.    Still to go: 22.0 lb.    Diet followed 100%.