Kingcole35's Journal, 09 July 2011

Hello everyone! I'm not dead! Just a combination of life, lack of enthusiasm, and trying to get that settled tht has kept me away for so long.

As far as things are going on the weight loss, I'm holding DEAD steady. I know this is partially my fault because my normal routine has been interupted and I have realized a HUGE part of my success has been the formation of a routine in my life. My roomie lives a very disjointed life and really has no set schedule, well that has been creeping in on me and my previously very structured life has been well... unstructured. It's time to get that back. I guess I am proud of myself in the fact that though I have been struggling a bit finding my regime again I have not really wavered and in the past I would not have just put my toes in the pool of gluttony and drinking I would have ripped off all my clothes and did a titanic cannon ball right in that splashed everyone around me. I found that the splash the collateral damage is the difference. Before I slipped and stayed slipping because well I was looking at this as a completely solitary struggle. Now when I jump in I know that me sliding back into a destructive lifestyle will not only effect me but those I love and those that love me. My girl friend deserves me to be the best man I can be and the thinking I have in my mind is that come hell or high water I'm going to give her that man. My friends are proud of me and I have proven a lot of their misconceptions about me wrong. I don't want them to ever visit those misconceptions so I continue to fight the good fight even if slip on a banana peel here and there, at least it's a banana peel and not a double cheeseburger. When it's all said and done besides myself I have a responsibility to others now and for the first time in my life realize I am accountable. It's a good feeling.

Other then that I'm doing well. The apartment is a big adjustment. I find myself bored at times, a feeling I haven't felt in ages. This is something I will need to watch out for because with me boredom equals depression. I need to make sure this doesn't happen. But that's why I am here writing.

A GREAT thing about the apartment is that I see my girlfriend quite often and every time I do, I realize just how perfect we are for each other and just how much I love her. I told her last night and I mean this from the bottom of my heart it is an unbelievable feeling to be in love with my best friend. But I have a few best friends, but what is reaffirmed to me every time she leaves is that she really is my soul mate because even though I know I will talk to her and see her in the near future its like a little piece of me leaves with her.

Okay, what else... oh I'm still writing but I realize I need a hand to guide me. I'm working on a book but I keep rewriting the things I write. I revise to the point that I will never get anything concrete because I keep rewriting. The story is there but I truly have doubts I am able to convey it as I think it and that is disconcerting, its like my imagination is more powerful then my writing abilities. I have to find a middle ground.

OK well, now that I ate up some time I'm going to concentrate on the ball game. I guess time is a better thing to eat up then a pizza, I'll mark this as a victory.

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Comments 
So glad to hear you are adjusting to your move. Hey, maybe you will turn that girlfriend into a wife sometime soon. I know she has been a huge part of your journey and I am so glad you have each other! Sealing it with marriage makes it so much better...wait you will see!!  
09 Jul 11 by member: HealthyBabs
Congrats on having that special person in your life..it makes this journey of ours so much better to have some one on our side...Glad the move is over for you as that can be stressful and then the adjustment of it all can throw for a loop..Now that your settled you can get back to what you know best..TAKIGN CARE OF YOU!!!!! have a great Sunday....Bren 
10 Jul 11 by member: BHA
"...a little piece of me leaves with her." I know that feeling. :) I'm so glad you've found that and know how precious it is! You deserve it, man.  
12 Jul 11 by member: deb_bluerose
I some how missed this entry but it is nice to hear that things are still going along, even if they are in a steady line, you will be back on the downward incline soon I am sure.  
12 Jul 11 by member: pixidaisy

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