Exercise is still on point. I am not running a half marathon. It isn't that I don't think I can make it. I just don't want to run four-five miles straight without access to a port-a-potty. So, I'm sticking to running 5K races. I have not logged food like I vowed to do, but I don't think I am really binging or anything at this point. OB appt on Monday so we will see where I am. I am really starting to show now in my stomach. So, it is quite possible my weight is up.
So.....I went on a date last night. It was horrible. Not for me so much as the poor fella who wanted to take out a 6 month pregnant soon-to-be-divorced hormonal woman. I was over a half hour late for the date. Said ridiculous things to him as if I were born with no filter between my mouth and brain, which included legal advice that he should avoid remarriage prior to retirement so that he won't have any concern for losing portions of his military retirement to a spouse. Seriously, I am a piece of work. Who in their right mind advises a guy on the firsts date about retirement planning and remarriage? This girl apparently. Then, I even freakin' cried during the date. He asked about my situation...being pregnant and newly single, I suppose curiosity was getting the best of him. And, I flippin' teared up. It gets worse. My step-daughter, who has not seen or heard from her father in over a month, blew my phone up the entire time. She has been very emotional especially in light of the fact that her biological mom hasn't seen or had anything to do with her in five years (thanks to an ugly heroine addiction) and, of course, her dad has now left too. I hadn't told her I was on a date. I told her I was going to the gym...which I did in fact do. I just didn't feel like it was appropriate for her to know that I might actually be in the company of someone other than her dad---even when I now realize that it is entirely too early for me to go on a date with anyone. So, there she was texting me through the entire dinner. And, there I was texting her right back under the table, trying to be inconspicuous because I frankly worry that if I am not right there with her she might become an emotional wreck as she has done every few days lately. As soon as the guy finished eating, he promptly announced he had to wake up early in the morning and he needed to leave. Don't blame him one bit! What's strange is....he ended up texting me this morning. What the heck?!?! Is this guy a masochist? I'd never want to see me again....
Anyway, I'm compensating for my failure as a stepmom tonight by taking my dear daughter out for dinner. I am also going to take her to the gym with me. I can't say that I am happy about that since she starts complaining around the 12 minute mark and doesn't stop whining until the end. For someone with a model build---5'10 and naturally thin, she has very little physical motivation. Love her. Wish I had her genetic physical makeup.
The stomach is making me feel all kinds of self-conscious. I know I am pregnant and this is how pregnant women are supposed to look. But, my protruding abdomen makes me wince. It's mental, I know. I wonder to myself if I can ever have a flat tummy. I'm seriously not opposed to abdominalplasty after this baby is born. And, lipo on my upper arms. Yep, I'm tearing my looks apart even when I kept telling myself to stop it.
Anyway...15 weeks left I think now. It is going fast.
Hope everyone is doing well.
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