blurose411's Journal, 09 April 2015

Thanks for the suggestion. Her favorite place is BK and I've already looked. Their lowest carb breakfast item is still 21 net carbs which would pretty much max me out for the day. My best bet is to see if I can just get some eggs and bacon but she will ask questions. So if I do that I will out myself as being on a diet. I'm torn.  

Even if you stopped at Mc donalds..you can always order a burger and throw away the buns. Instead of fries have a salad 

I don't mean to suggest I have no choices on how to keep my carbs down. My cundrom is do I keep them down and out myself or do I eat like I normally would to keep my secret. I know that is completely up to me, just really venting on this one.  

I know you will make a good decision for yourself. You are strong! 

Well, I kept my secret but didn't go all out. Carbs are blown for the day but it could have been much worse. No worries, just going to keep moving forward. 

Great job! 

That's the attitude to take....just keep moving forward and not dwelling on what ofs, should'ves or could'ves.... 

There are tons of sites with nutritional info on them. Pick a place you find the info and take her there. Pick what you will order before you go and plan for it. I'm having lunch with my husband today. I'm going to have a slice of pizza, side salad with light dressing and a diet coke. Most places will cook the way you want it.  

I don't think you should hide the fact that you are changing your lifestyle. I would even avoid the word "diet" around your family because you are not really on a diet. You are making decisions that will better your life and health. You should be proud of that. And if it comes to the fact you need to mention to her that you are avoiding processed foods, be confident about it. WHen people ask me why I am always eating so healthy..I just explain to them about how all the elderly today are always on meds, have a medical condition or develop cancers and the like...I say I rather work hard to prevent all those future medical bills I see so many people have today. And realistically you can avoid so much just by putting the right foods in your body...that is enough to shut most people up. but whatever you decide to do just be happy and confident that you are doing what you are doing. We are all here to support you! 

I understand that. When you tell someone like that your dieting, they seem to judge your every food choice. I just say, my stomach is acting up, and order either egg whites and tea, (or coffee) That seems to work for me. (Mine is the same way and 94) Good luck :) 

Its hard to be around people who are family but are also a bit toxic. Good luck and remember you give them the power to control your actions. 

I like the idea of stomach issue, or "My doctor says I must...whatever" ...avoid grease or fried foods, or things that raise my sugar, etc. The REAL issue here, however, is your fear of your Grandmother and how she makes you feel. You are allowing her to dictate your life and she will love that and continue to control you until you TAKE BACK control. It doesn't matter if you have differing opinions or whatever, refuse to take the bait or decide on the ground rules of the argument, even write them down. You have to not be afraid of making her angry and be FORWARD in talking to her about how she makes you feel. If you don't do this in some fashion, she will continue to be the enabler/excuse/catalyst that lets you make bad decisions. If you cannot do this to her face, then write in a journal what you feel about her cracking on you and be specific. This is much more about your relationship with her than where or what you eat. Buck up, speak up. 

I think I understand exactly how you feel. I went "stealth" with my new lifestyle until the changes were too obvious. I think I postponed getting healthy in the first place because I didn't want anyone else to think they were controlling me. I still struggle with talking about my new lifestyle. I like that people can see a difference in me, but I don't like that subject being the sum total of our conversations. At first I just responded to questions with a short response like "I'm not really dieting, just trying to eat healthier." It sounds like you did awesome at breakfast yesterday. I know it made me feel "powerful" to keep my decision stealth until I wanted to share.  

Thanks for all the good advice everyone. Supermom, you are absolutely right she does have way too much control over my life. However, the situation is far more complicated than you know. We not only live right next door to her; we rent from her. The last time I stood my ground with her she "evicted" us. Which, obviously, hasn't yet resulted in us moving but did result in our rent being raised (side note, if you rent from family make sure you get a lease anyway don't think that because it is family you don't need one). She has my family over a barrel and she knows it plus she is emotionally manipulative. We can't wait to move and are hoping to this summer. I know you mean well with your advice but I will keep things they way they are for now.