Ms Elizabeth's Journal, 30 March 2015

Today's motivation is brought to you by Crack. Not crack crack butt crack. Which I apparently like to show these days. You know that pair of jeans that fit perfectly, hung kinda low on the hips but was slimming, didn't create a muffin top, and felt great?? Well when you're about 10 lbs over what you were when you purchased them they punish you by showing your butt crack. Ok maybe it's 20 lbs over.. I'm not sure. All I know is my feelin sexy jeans have turned me into an obscene office worker who moons everyone every time the copier runs out of paper.. or when I sit.. or when I drop a stack of papers and I have to bend over or squat in the hallway to pick them up. At a certain point I was contemplating just laying down on the floor with them to pick them up when the breeze from the door went directly down my butt crack. I can't be sure who opened the door.. I decided if I just avoided eye contact then the entire incident didn't happen. So.. today's motivation is Crack.

I've decided I am going to A) Only eat 1500-1600 calories. B)Workout on the elliptical for at least 30 minutes 5 days a week. and C)Squat till I question the meaning of living and discover why so many people who obviously can't still attempt to wear skinny jeans. I'm hoping for a 10 lb drop by the end of April. If I follow this plan.. I can do it. Eventually the squats will eliminate my ability to get food to shove in my pie hole so all in all.. I think this is an excellent plan. I will even throw in some planks and other stuff as I decide how I want to torture myself.

I can do it! Some day I will have my feelin sexy pants back.. that is if I don't stretch them out in some hidious way.. Or tear out the back attempting to pick up anything else. There's at least a 50/50 chance I will have feelin sexy pants back.