Ms Elizabeth's Journal, 18 March 2015

You know that saying you get back what you put out there? If you have a positive attitude then positive things will happen to you. I tried to follow that this morning. I woke up.. said today will be a good day. Got up.. stretched and was promptly greated by the almost 3 year old little man screaming, not yelling, screaming. I WANT PAPPY!!!!!! It all started off innocently enough about 4 months ago when his baby brother finally started using one. Little man hadn't had one in almost a year. He would find his brother's pacifier, put it in his mouth, and say
"look momma! Imma baby!"
"Awe.. You're a cute baby now stop that. You have snot pouring out of your nose and you're brother doesn't need your cold"

This progressed.. all cuteness. Until he started stealing his brother's pacifier. They will both be in the car.. happy lil tiny people.. his brother falls asleep. I glance back and there it is in little man's mouth. So I think... well at least he waits until his brother falls asleep.

Fast forward to this morning. First off I didn't know where THE pappy was. The one he lost. We have a drawer of some of his old ones. As my positivity is challenged. I decide I can positively turn little man into a little man. I throw all the old ones away. Hubby comes around the corner with THE pappy and hands it to me. I throw it away. He attempts to dive in the garbage after it because I've obviously LOST MY MIND. No. We aren't doing this. I deal with the tantrums. I deal with the.. seriously your 2.5 yr old STILL uses a pacifier? Yes.. when he steals it from his brother and he isn't doing snow angels in the cookie aisle while he brother attempts to chew his way out of the car seat? Then yes yes he does. Hubby catches the death stare and slowly backs out of the room. Little man eventually calms down.. hubby flees to the barn. And then it happened. He found the blue pappy the pappy of all pappies. The ONLY pacifier his brother loves.

"Momma? This brother's pappy?"
"Yes...." waiting for the next melting of the toddler
"Ok. I put his pappy in his seat for you." and puts it in his car seat where he finds.. another pappy.
"Momma?? Can I have this pappy?"
Next happens the melting of the momma.. because I spoil the boys rotten because I'm older and I should know better but I keep telling myself they are my last ones and I should be allowed to spoil then even though I'm only making my life 1,000% harder.. their my babies. And they play me like a fiddle.
"Ok buddy. You can borrow it but it's your brothers."

Then after getting the troops ready and lugging all the gear which now equals a pump bag, diaper bag, bottle bag, purse, shopping bag with dress shoes and a sweater out of the house to the back porch I decided I should fall down the back stairs. I'm fine. I layed there for a while so I could be sure all the slush and salt soaked all the way through my slacks into my underwear but I'm fine. A tiny but bruised maybe? I don't know I can't see my butt. Is it normal to not be able to see your own butt? I feel like I should be able to do it but I'm not just flexible enough. Hubby spots me and asks me what I'm doing to which I replied.... I'm being positive damn it!

He then backed away slowly.. and finished plowing the driveway in the skid steer so I could come to work with a gigantic bottle of tylenol and a coffee and donut from dunkins because I deserved it dang it. This mindset may be why it will take me 93 months to get to my goal. I'm paying for it with a salad for lunch though.. so eh.. It all evens out over time. I'm going to go take more tylenol now before I have to sit through a 1 hour and 30 minute meeting I am titling. Death by powerpoint.