Ms Elizabeth's Journal, 17 March 2015

You may or may not have seen the previous journal entry. I had to remove it. It just isn't me. I'm not me. I'm angry. I have no clue why I'm angry. I'm just.. angry. I'm not angry at anyone in particular... I just feel like telling alot of people to go suck it. Maybe this is from the extended winter or from not journaling and finding the humor in life.. I'm not sure.

I logged my weight today and it told me it will take 93 months to reach my goal... seriously.. This is one of those Go suck it moments. Fatsecret?? Go suck it. Suck it good! A loss is a loss no matter how long it took me or how many pretzel m&m's I snuck in there. Or.. how many skipped workouts were in there.. or how many times I grabbed an oreo for me whenever little man asked for one.. ahem. I still lost :)

I work for an easter egg now. I didn't know I worked for him but he seems to think I do. He dresses like an easter egg. I've nicknamed him Eggy. I now have an extremely poor opinion of men who wear pastels to work. I have an especially poor opinion of men who also wear pastel suspenders like Eggy. I want to tell him to go suck it.. instead I now have a craving for hard boiled eggs and a strange sense of satisfaction cracking them open. See?? This right here?? This is not normal!!

I need to find me again. I am not an overly angry slightly destructive woman. I work, play with the kids, play with the cows, milk cows, feed gigantic bottles to baby cows and call them my pets and contemplate if cows can swim. But I'm not me anymore. I'm angry. So if ya'll can handle it I'm going to try to start journaling every day again. Please tell me when I'm angry and unhinged. Tell me to go hug a cow or something. Knit me a fuzzy straight jacket.

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Comments 
Glad I don't wear pastels :) Come on you can do this totally DF, where is that awesome woman that was going to the gym up until the baby was born? She is still there you just need to go kick some ass tell Eggy to suck it and get on with. 93 months from you I doubt it a year maybe. BTW Happy St. Patrick's Day yes I am wearing green, No it is not pastel  
17 Mar 15 by member: Rockiesfan
Maybe that's what's missing. I need to take my aggressions out on weights. Then I could go through my day knowing I could toss Eggy. :) I tried to wear green but none of my green was appropriate for the workplace. So tonight I'm putting on my inapporpriate green gear and milking cows.  
17 Mar 15 by member: Ms Elizabeth
Thank you for posting that:)))))I sooooo needed it!!!  
17 Mar 15 by member: phillrn
DF, I'm thinking you just needed to vent. I have found venting to be very therapeutic...especially venting here, instead of telling a co-worker to suck it....or worse. Even with taking out aggressions on the weights....But, maybe, it's just me.  
17 Mar 15 by member: LoadGod
Are you still on maternity leave? Taking care of kids, the meals, the laundry, the house clutter, the milking cows. omg, you have too much work and that is why you are feeling like this. You are a Saint to put up with all of that which is heaped on your plate! Workwise, not talking about your food choices. ;) Delegate some of that. Please!  
17 Mar 15 by member: Deb_N
ROFL! I know you didn't intend to amuse but thank you! And I sincerely hope that journaling makes you less angry. You're in my thoughts... 
17 Mar 15 by member: KMSmith1203
You're my kind of angry! Very funny! 
17 Mar 15 by member: Patty W
Ah, the flying monkeys are throwing feces again....at someone else' circus. :)  
17 Mar 15 by member: MightyFull
Hey sweetie, I hope you can get over this....I wake up angry sometimes...for no reason,and i am a normally "sunny" person...I think its HORMONES! I always blame hormones when I can... Take care, journal, go for a walk, eat bread. do whatever it takes to make you happy. Good luck!  
17 Mar 15 by member: iulani
I can only hope that this website and community are able to give you whatever it is you need to succeed. What I can tell you is that your journal entries are exactly what many of us need--brightness, laughter, a different point of view....Don't underestimate yourself. I am soooo glad you are back to journaling, 'cause you are a highlight in my day!!! Thanks DFW! 
17 Mar 15 by member: Donna Mashburn
I can appreciate your attitude. 
17 Mar 15 by member: monika135
This Eggy person must be really getting under your skin when you really want him under your finger nails. Sometimes one person can ruin your day....week, month and it spills over. Karma will get him....say it over and over to yourself :) I'd let him know in a subtle way, of course, that he isn't my boss or anything to me. Smile, make him worry what you are up to! Venting is good for the soul in the right places, especially with us. FS little "you have x amount of time to reach your goals can be very depressing, or uplifting. You are right, a loss is a loss and should be celebrated! 
17 Mar 15 by member: kattay
So sorry you are so angry. Might just be those after pregnancy hormones re-adjusting. You still made me laugh at your Eggy description Suspenders!!! Taking it out on your weights might help, would have loved to be able to do that today. My weight chart settled into the same spot for a long time, it basically said I was NEVER going to get to my goal...fooled it!!! Don't listen to it!!! BTW I have 2 flying monkey shirts that I wear often, my ex hated those things, scared to death to watch the Wizard of Oz, nuts he was totally nuts! 
17 Mar 15 by member: wholefoodnut
Being a Dairy Farmers wife I'm surprised you have to diet at all. That is hard work!! Eat More eggs Milk less cows. Waite is that right? That might disrupt the budget. We don't want that. All Mother who work hard need a straight jacket at times. Ask me! I'm a Mother of 4 adult daughters( OH YES!) all very different women who I love dearly. But, I'm the Mother ..what do I know? Just ask them..LOL..your going to be fine. Just don't believe everything fat. Secret tells you. 
17 Mar 15 by member: Martha64
Yes, do vent. Venting is good. Don't bottle your anger.....just let it out. We can handle it!!! :) 
18 Mar 15 by member: schmetterling34
Yes, cows can swim. ;-) 
18 Mar 15 by member: Russ V
I'm not angry, just anxious. My journal helps release stress. Hope it does the same for you. 
18 Mar 15 by member: mariezzz
Maybe you need your gym time back at work. You can always vent here, that's what your buddies are here for, to listen to the good and the bad. I think going through a range of emotions is normal, so right now it's just your time to be angry. If you can figure out why you're angry great, and if not, hopefully it will pass with some venting. Now, go hug one of those baby cows! :) 
18 Mar 15 by member: mars2kids
I remember feeling the same way working on the dairy. LOL... but not so LOL. Miss my horses... don't miss the cows.  
18 Mar 15 by member: jparlett
I was pretty irritable last weekend and realized I was feeling some stress about a work related event. I am better now. Sometimes we just go through these things - you will regroup! 
18 Mar 15 by member: HCB

     
 

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