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kmogirl2000's Journal, 28 June 2009
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Had a lot of stress, brother is losing his house and car to foreclosure and repossesion. He quit his job before he was sure he had gotten the one he applied for, and now my whole family expects me to give him money to bail him out.
No one seems to care that I will have to sell my car to do that. I don't understand why he will get to keep his car and drive it and I will have to sell mine and save up for another one when I never made any mistakes with my own finances. I'm really angry and very depressed about this, and it really makes no sense to me at all.
My mom isn't giving him any money, and she has two cars and a whole bunch of really valuable diamond jewelry she could sell. She says she won't get what they're worth if she sells tham now. My grandpa can't even drive anymore,so my grandparents have an extra car that they could sell, but they've had it for so long, my grandpa says it's sentmental. My grandma LITERALLY has an entire attic full of Franklin Mint Collector Plates dating back to probably the 60's or something. When you poke your head up in the attic, that is all you can see--boxes and boxes of plates. Those have to be worth something, but she wants to hand them down to my mom and I when she dies. I hope to god I don't get those things; I consider crap like that to be clutter and nothing else. In the meantime, I'm going to take a $20,000 hit on the BMW I'm selling back to the Dealer for him. I'm only 2 1/2 years older than him, and I have never fucked up my finances, EVER. He's already declared bankuptcy so many times that he can't do it again, he also owes $23,000 in federal back taxes and $11,000 in back state taxes, and I forget how many tens of thousands in past due student loans. Me selling my car won't even be enough to begin to dig him out of the shit he's in, but if I don't do it, my whole family will be very angry at me. They're calling me night and day to see what I'm doing to get him the money, but no one is selling anything they own to help out.
He's the baby of the family, and my mom's "precious snowflake", so he has always gotten everything in the world handed to him. He couldn't afford a down payment for this house that he wanted so badly, so my grandparents gave him $40,000 cash, which he's about to lose if the bank takes back his house. I was on my own for buying a house. My mom paid for about 3/4ths of his college, and I never got one dollar from anyone for mine. No one even came to my graduation, and they had a huge party for him and all his friends... I've been on my own to make it or sink my entire life. I just don't understand why I'm expected to bail him out of this mess he's gotten himself into, and sacrifice things like my car that I've worked so hard to get.
So yeah, I felt sorry for myself and overate and drank some beers this whole last week. I feel like crap inside, and I really feel completely unloved or respected by my family. I feel used. This is probably the worst week I have had in my entire 36 years. I wish I could just walk away from my family right now and not look back.
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173.0 lb
Lost so far: 0 lb.
Still to go: 33.0 lb.
Diet followed poorly.
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Diet Calendar Entries for 28 June 2009:
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1299 kcal
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Fat: 75.04g | Prot: 37.08g | Carb: 62.11g.
Breakfast: Coffee, shredded cheese, la tortilla factory, cream. Lunch: pacifico beer, pacifico beer, Greek Salad (Half Portion). Dinner: la tortilla factory, pepperoni, shredded cheese, miller lite. more...
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2653 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Walking (slow) - 2/mph - 3 hours, Yard Work (gardening) - 2 hours, Resting - 11 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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on diet Atkins
gaining 7.9 lb a week
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 Comments
I am not sure why you are selling your car. Your brother is an adult and needs to learn to take care of himself. Offer your love and support. By giving him money, you are enabling him to do it again and again. Your best bet is to walk away and take care of yourself. Take control and say no. There's only so much you can do for someone. It sounds like your a good person and your family is taking advantage of it. I am sorry you are going through this. Be strong and take care!
28 Jun 09 by member: Suzi161
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Wow. Don't do it. It's not your responsibility. Explain to your family how you feel and if they give you a hard time, just take some time away from them. This doesn't make sense at all.
29 Jun 09 by member: kimbulie
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the hardest thing i ever had to do was walk away from my family - i did it and now my life is much happier and healthier...you must take care of yourself first and foremost...i would not take a financial hit like that...it will also stay on your credit as a repo for 7 years...tell your brother that you love him and are sorry he is in that fix...but it is his fix and by selling your car and taking a loss you will be in the same position...and JUST SAY NO...
29 Jun 09 by member: veggies yuk
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Well well...not at all fair.I genuinely feel bad for you buddy.And I really feel its high time for you to put your foot down.Just say a big NO.
29 Jun 09 by member: KUCHU
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take care of yourself, stand up for yourself, love yourself, respect yourself. You'll be surprised how much respect you get when you put your foot down. People can only do to you what you let them. Support you brother any way you can without putting yourself in jeopardy. He's not a child nor is he your child. Having a home means being an adult. Being an adult means facing the music and being accountable for your mistakes. Stick to your plan and make yourself a priority. Sounds like there are more than enough family members to lean on.
29 Jun 09 by member: Cocodeluxe
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