gingin40's Journal, 04 January 2015

So today I wanted to write about the struggles I have faced emotionally during my weight loss journey. Over 17 years ago, when I was a teenager, I decided to lose weight so I could please others, mainly my family and friends. I lost the weight within a year, which most people say is a healthy amount of time, and I was so sure that everyone would love me because I was thin. Well I did not count on the fact that I really did not like who I had become. I was consumed by weight loss and pleasing others that I did not know who I was. I became depressed and gained the weight back, plus gained 30 lbs more. Years flew by, and by the time I graduated college, this year, I decided to lose weight for me and not others. My weight loss started because I thought it would help me with some health issues I was facing, back pain and depression, but as time went by I started to love the challenge of learning how to eat properly and the fun of exercising (even when it makes me tired and sweaty). I am not trying to please others, but take care of my health and well-being. Maybe it is because age is bringing wisdom along for the ride or if it is reading the wonderful advice and journals on Fat Secret, but I am learning now to like myself for who I am than define myself by weight. Now I am not saying I do not get upset if the scale shows my weight is going up, but I am not defined by it. I know I am a woman who is struggling to lose the last 40 lbs, but I am also shy, sensitive, fun-loving, always ready with a joke or goofy song to make someone laugh, and determined to lose the weight for no one else but me. ❤

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1495 kcal

Fat: 71.26g | Prot: 41.28g | Carb: 193.48g.   Breakfast: Kroger Vitamin D3 (400 I.U.), Krispy Kreme Powdered Blueberry Filled Doughnut, Krispy Kreme Powdered Strawberry Filled Doughnut, Twinings Green Tea - Jasmine, Twinings Premium Black Tea - Blackcurrant Breeze, Great Value No Calorie Sweetener (Made with Saccharin), Great Value No Calorie Sweetener (Made with Aspartame), Tap Water. Dinner: Great Value No Calorie Sweetener (Made with Saccharin), Great Value No Calorie Sweetener (Made with Aspartame), Tap Water, Twinings Green Tea - Jasmine, La Victoria Green Taco Sauce (Mild), Pace Chunky Mild Salsa, Tribe Sweet Roasted Red Pepper Hummus, Baby Carrots, McDonald's McChicken (No Mayo). Snacks/Other: Tap Water. more...

2318 kcal

Activities & Exercise: Sitting - 8 hours, Walking (slow) - 2/mph - 59 minutes, Resting - 6 hours and 1 minute, Sleeping - 9 hours. more...