|
Oh the truth can hurt. I decided for the first few days I am not going to try changing my eating habits. Instead my focus will be to record EVERYTHING I eat, since I have often failed to keep track of what I eat. Honestly it is embarrassing seeing the data from the foods I've eaten because it is so gluttonous. I know better, but this is representative of choices I made against better judgment.
To make this a sustainable change I don't think I can do too many changes at once at have these good habits stick. So baby steps it is. Cognitively I know that THIS is a big part of accountability, exposing one's self to correction and not hiding mistakes. Cognitively I know that generally this is a encouraging community, but facing the truth is terrifying right now because I feel guilty. I am guilty of gluttony and poor food choices, guilty of lack of self control, guilty of being afraid of condemnation because those vices are NOT praiseworthy and are destructive and should not be encouraged. Yet I am still trying to figure out how to separate myself from my choices so that I do not make my identity a culmination of all my past mistakes.
"...the truth shall set you free." Well, G-d, help me to find my freedom in You because I know I should not do these things, but I do, and I can't change them myself without Your help. I have certainly tried enough times to see consistent results in that failure. So help me to stay honest, and then help me to change so that I will no longer be ashamed about what I have eaten and how I have treated my body. Amen.
Diet Calendar Entry for 02 December 2014:
|
3577 kcal
|
Fat: 199.13g | Prot: 191.75g | Carb: 259.30g.
Breakfast: Kerrygold Pure Irish Butter, Whole Milk, Gala Apples, Sun-Maid Mini-Snacks Natural California Raisins, Quaker Old Fashioned Oats. Lunch: Trader Joe's Organic Marinara Sauce, Fresh & Easy Smoked Gravlax Salmon, Kraft Deli Deluxe Swiss Cheese Slices, Parmesan Cheese (Grated), Great Value Sliced Black Ripe Olives, Premio Sweet Italian Sausage (85g), Barilla Cheese & Spinach Tortellini, Publix Egg Salad, Activia Peach Yogurt. Dinner: Einstein Brothers Bagels Nova Lox & Bagel, Ken's Extra Heavy Mayo, Yellow Mustard, Ba-Tampte Half Sour Pickles, Polly-O Part Skim Mozzarella String Cheese Sticks, Oscar Mayer Shaved Smoked Turkey Breast, Santa Fe Tortilla Company Whole Wheat Tortilla. Snacks/Other: Season Brand Sardines in Olive Oil, Apples, Harris Teeter Crunchy Peanut Butter, Fresh & Easy Smoked Gravlax Salmon. more...
|
|