Ms Elizabeth's Journal, 10 November 2014

How did I do it? How do you do it? I did it once! Why can't I figure this out?!?! How do you start the day and say today is the day without failing miserably by stopping at the drugstore on the way home to buy yourself a bag of pretzel m&ms but they didn't have pretzel m&ms so you settled for peanut butter ones which are 3xs worse than worse. Or how do you not wake up at 2 am to pee then suddenly discover yourself seeking out the twinkie box? Normal people pee, maybe get a glass of water.. then go back to bed! Me? Uh uh I pee, go to the kitchen dig through the cabinet for a cookie but can't find a cookie so I settle for a twinkie which I ate.. moaning in delight. What is wrong with me?!?!?! Why are twinkies so freaking good?!?!

Why can't I get this?? After little man I dropped the baby weight and then some by 6 months. I reached an all time low after having him. This time? uh uh.. I'm shoving twinkies in my pie hole and wondering why I ever found lettuce appetizing. Pregnancy ruined me. I'm ruined. I need to become unruined. I need to google fitness inspiration.. or physically fit women you hate at first sight. I need to do random squats in my cube at work and not care who walks by because dang it.. I want my pants to fit again!

Who knows.. maybe shoving a twinkie in my mouth this morning was just the low I needed to hit before saying enough is enough.. Either that or the fact that I almost couldn't get my pants on when I was getting ready. You'd have thought the gut I see hanging out every time I nurse the baby would help but it hasn't. I need to get my butt back in gear! I need to stop shoving every edible item around me in my mouth. I need to go google things and hope it doesn't trigger something with IT.

I want abs.. I want to bend over without fear of splitting my pants.. I want abs... I want to be able to bench press my husband. Ok.. I'm a little odd on that last part but something about living on a farm does that to you. You begin to admire the ability to benchpress things. I'm going to go attempt to squat and google things at the same time. Hopefully I dont injure myself. Today is the FREAKIN day DANG it. Minus the twinkie.. which was delicious and fitting for a last treat before.. THE FREAKIN DAY!!

Favorite quote so far.. The difference between your body this week and next is what you do for the next 7 days to achieve your goals.

Diet Calendar Entry for 10 November 2014:
1828 kcal Fat: 83.89g | Prot: 77.49g | Carb: 185.58g.   Breakfast: Domino Sugar Sugar, Market Pantry Half and Half, Chobani Nonfat Black Cherry Greek Yogurt (Container), Coffee (Brewed From Grounds), Dunkin' Donuts Extra Extra Coffee Creamer, Hostess Twinkies Golden Sponge Cake with Creamy Filling. Lunch: Lean Cuisine Culinary Collection Philly Style Steak & Cheese Panini. Dinner: Wish-Bone Chunky Blue Cheese Dressing, Fresh'n Easy Garden Salad, BBQ Comfort Meatballs. Snacks/Other: Pop Secret Movie Theater Butter Popcorn, Nature Valley Protein Chewy Bars - Coconut Almond. more...

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Comments 
Stupid as this might sound, I've heard of people having "craving" issues putting a rubberband around their wrist and "snapping" themselves out of it...I have never tried it, sounds weird, but hey it just might work? 
10 Nov 14 by member: Socolova
Slow down and listen to what you need with your heart.  
10 Nov 14 by member: jparlett
Socolova that's cognitive behavioural therapy with the rubber band. It's supposed to help with many things! As for you dfw you can do it just think 'in a month you'll wish you'd started today!' 
10 Nov 14 by member: njashka8
You can do this. Just take it one day at a time. We are all rooting for you. 
10 Nov 14 by member: unamoyer
Go back to your April 15/14 journal. For motivation, you wrote that you saw a woman jogging. You can do this, sign up at the gym again and read your smutty books. 
10 Nov 14 by member: aggie95
This is really gross but next time you feel the need to eat a Twinkie take it to the barn look at the cows and just keep telling yourself this Twinkie is made from the fat of those cows. You've never seen a skinny cow have you? I know what you mean about the pictures of super fit women. The girlfriend was watching Dog the Bounty Hunter and the woman on that show had a trainer and her arms were just so sculpted. I want that! Maybe try printing out pictures of people with front butt, and randomly placing them where you will be reminded?  
10 Nov 14 by member: Instantcrazy
Oh yeah, where's those front butt pics? FRONT BUTT FRONT BUTT! NOOOOO!!! 
10 Nov 14 by member: Socolova
you can always tell yourself that the Twinkies will last on the shelf until you are done with your weight loss.  
10 Nov 14 by member: deaby16
Twinkies are only suppose to be good for 45 days. We learned that at work when the retarded inner office newsletter claimed people knew the shelf life of a twinkie better than the life of their fire detector.. So we googled it.. and twinkies found their way into my cart the next time we went grocery shopping. Stupid work newsletters making crap up 
10 Nov 14 by member: Ms Elizabeth
But... I haven't had the urge to cheat and I've been good all morning long since the twinke.. so either I've scared myself straight or twinkies are a secret diet pill that no one knew about. 
10 Nov 14 by member: Ms Elizabeth
If you think back on it all - I believe you will remember that it was hard to get back on track. It is so much harder to start than it is to do. Everytime I fall off the wagon I worry that i will not be able to get back on it. I sometimes think that focusing on all the 'I wants' is the wrong thing to do. It puts weight and weight loss and health on the emotional side of the brain. All that really needs to be and stay on the logical side because that is where it is best attacked. Try to think about all the logical reasons for losing weight and take as much emotion out of it. The emotional stuff is what always appears to sabatage me and by reading other people's journals I am not alone :) Try putting it all on paper - the why you need to get back to eating correctly and exercising - and see if that does not help you get on that weight loss track again. And if you do what you should and feel great and can't zip your pants, we maybe you need to buy a new pair of pants and be happy. Motherhood is not so good on a persons body but they say it is good on the soul :) 
10 Nov 14 by member: alexzwk
The trouble with sugar filled yummies (twinkies, cookies and the like) is that they make you feel SO good... for a while... then 8 hours later you're craving more. Then 24 hours, then 48 hours. It's not for everyone - but I had to completely detox from complex carbs & sugar for 7 days in order to get my head in the game. Starting is so hard! But once you're in it, it gets pretty routine.  
10 Nov 14 by member: jenalena
Yep. You're a sugar addict. But seriously, it only takes three days without sugar to not have those cravings. It's true. I say that and I've done it and I still know what you're going through because every time I go back to it, I have to go through those three days again and its tough. Just give it a go with me, 
10 Nov 14 by member: kimberly rae
You can do this... one right choice at a time. The thing that clicked for me was when someone commented that if "I wait til I feel like it it will never happen". That's when I realized I was waiting til I felt like it. From that day on I've stopped waiting til I feel like it and started concentrating on making the right choice right now. That's why I use the name "Right Now or Never... for me it's about making the right choice right now. We know you can do it because you've done it before. 
10 Nov 14 by member: right-now-or-never
OMG I Love You !!! Thank You for reminding me that I am not alone. I know exactly what you mean. You do have the strength, and desire to do this, and I am positive that you will do this. We are all human and we can get distracted easily at times, but I think that now you have said it out loud, good things will start to happen. I am behind you 100% !!!!  
10 Nov 14 by member: SherrieC
I leave bottled water in the bathroom to avoid giving myself any excuse by not even going into the kitchen. Sometimes it works. 
10 Nov 14 by member: FullaBella
That is an awesome quote, so true. 
10 Nov 14 by member: snezica
What about not buying twinkies? 
10 Nov 14 by member: DanzigRules
Yes, I'm okay with tossing those twinkies right into the garbage...on collection day. You don't need that around. And who would you want to give the remaining ones to..."Here is a gift of supremely addictive high fructose chemical injected fluff filled fat bombs for you my dear friend, because I like you that much that I want you to feel the need to eat these at 2 a.m." No, see, they're not good enough for a friend and not even kinda good enough for you. Kimberly Rae is right, force youself through withdrawals like any addict, and come out strong and powerful and tasting the sweet flavors of everything like never before. 
10 Nov 14 by member: kmcollins
That's my sister... And she's almost to her goal weight by doing just that. I love being her buddy. 
11 Nov 14 by member: kimberly rae

     
 

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