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Okay - so along with food, exercise, etc., I'm working on the 'stop taking crap as the Nana' phase of my life. Blondie was supposed to come here tonight for 'girls' night - homemade chili (frito pie!) as well as 'that pie' still hiding behind the chia. We were going to watch a movie.
She phoned just now to say 'DH got a bonus today and he's taking everyone out to dinner.. ' didn't even say 'I'm sorry'. I said, "okay, bye".
I shouted out a couple of rants including 'obviously.. NOT EVERYBODY' or the message would be 'can the chili keep, he wants to take us all out, including you.'
Should I have said, "wonderful, I'll get my coat?" to just hear the line go dead on her end?
So I sat down with MY cup of frito pie - and started to write this journal and the son in law phoned. I answered, 'congratulations on your bonus' and he replied 'thank you but there's a problem.. I'm kicking her out over to your house - this can be done another night."
I told him no. A bonus is to be celebrated on the night it's received. He mumbled about 'no, it's not important.. it can wait' and I said 'chili can too.. now go.. celebrate'
I added the 'chili can wait too' just to see if he'd say 'well, in that case.. join us?' but again.. nothing.
I'm not nearly as upset about this as I was the spaghetti dinner night. I guess that one left such a thick callous on me nothing is hurting. And yes, I did discuss it with B afterward that I left upset because I thought we were meeting as a family... and told her when stuff like that happens, I don't really feel like a member of the family; just someone who buys tickets.
Rudeness is as rudeness does. Will swallow this ... not too much food.. and go one about my evening. The only final thought is more and more of this type stuff, the more I want to cancel the family vacay at Christmas - all on my dime. Feeling a little pathetic right now.
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 Comments
((((((Bells)))))) so sorry this happened.
04 Nov 14 by member: ClassicRocker
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Aw, sweets, sorry 'bout that. They are sick & suffering, too, like us all - a little insane and a lot insensitive. Make it a "No Crap November", ok?
04 Nov 14 by member: Sweet Ce
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You're gonna make me cry! You can come over to my house any time you want!
04 Nov 14 by member: Instantcrazy
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So sorry Bella. Kids can take parents for granted.
04 Nov 14 by member: wholefoodnut
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04 Nov 14 by member: 2toofat
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((Hugs)) I so know the feeling. No doubt, they should have invited you! Yes, we get taken for granted and it does hurt. But then a shining moment will happen and we will put those bad times and bad feelings on the back shelf. Unfortunately, I don't forget, but I do forgive quickly. Just doesn't pay to hold on to bad feelings. Hurts you more than it hurts them. Yep, I would want to cancel my vacay with them too. I loved taking vacations by myself or with a good friend. Took vacation with my daughters last April and they still aren't talking to each other. They are sending birthday gifts to the kids and each other, so its a matter of time.
05 Nov 14 by member: kattay
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Some men just don't think.
05 Nov 14 by member: dboza
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I think they are just past learning and thinking outside 'their box'. Irs a big shame, but some people are just that way. You had your life for a long time and so have they. It hurts not being a part of 'them'. You got a big hart and include them but what do you get in retur? I'm with you on the thought of pulling the plug! Why do all the effort and spend dosh on someone who's not going to appreciate it by doing something nice in return?? I feel with you! It's tough being heartless when that's not in ones nature, but sometimes it for ones own best... Stay strong, hold you head high, bother with those that bothers with you. BIG HUG
05 Nov 14 by member: TorilJ
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I tend to agree with TorhildJ( except for the first sentence). We do nice things to & for people because we have a big heart,because it makes *us* feel good,NOT because we hope to get something in return BUT it is nice to feel our efforts are appreciated as well as ourselves as a person. Sad to say,a good majority of people just don't think as Dboza said(not only men,tho). *We* can only do,what we can do,however. I have learned that by applying the "bother with those that bother with you" *principal* works greatly in enhancing ones happiness. Another fine quote: People can only make you feel what you allow them to :) My heart is with you,Bella.
05 Nov 14 by member: myawethinTICself
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That just stinks! I have a DIL who I think comes from a different planet. She and I don't THINK the same way...I understand a little of what you're saying. It sounds to me like the SIL thought about you. Maybe they just don't know how to include you (I know, how hard can it be?)...maybe the next time you could risk it a little and verbalize your desire to be included..."Hey! I'd love to celebrate with you guys, do you mind if I come along?" I know that's not the point - the point is you'd like them to consider your feelings - you'd like it to come from them...but maybe they need some help knowing what your feelings are?
05 Nov 14 by member: Hipaagrammy
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05 Nov 14 by member: myawethinTICself
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Sorry, but those 2 people need a swift kick! How dare they treat you so rudely, when you are so generous to them. They know exactly what they are doing, but they somehow feel justified to not reciprocate your generosity. I really think when the time is right that you should vocalize this subject. If you don't, they will continue to treat you like this and the resentment will grow. We teach people how to treat us. I know this is not easy, but if they love you, they will hear you. Good luck....((hugs)).
05 Nov 14 by member: Josie Ann
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Crap!!! What is it that everyone ( well not everyone because I don't typically say this but ...) I feel you!!! You deserve so much better. Ugh. Evil stepchildren. If I could morph myself to give them a piece of my mind I would!
06 Nov 14 by member: madaboutmoose
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