Ahh.. ambition and motivation... so fleeting with me these days. Is it weather? Age? All of the above? I was head down and knee deep on working up the fliers and contracts for the 'craft & collectible' shows I'm organizing at The Money Pit but when I stepped away for a moment.. yep.. my laptop rebooted itself. I do try to 'save' periodically but haven't the heart to look just this minute. After I get this journal up I'll take a deep breath and try again.
I didn't record food again yesterday ~ but it was a day of 1/2 cups of chili broth here and there followed by half cups of bean broth. Filling yet (I pray) not so calorically dense, again. Maybe I'm the dense one. Banana with melted peanut butter for evening snack. Seems as if I grazed all day but hopefully not so much damage.
A thought occurred to me last night as I continued working through the series 'Heavy' and that is the intense workout these participants are subjected to daily, esp at their extreme beginning weights of 300lbs and up. I get that exercise is good .. yes, although I don't DO much of it, I GET it... but I cannot drown out that voice in my head saying, "weight loss is 80% food, 20% exercise... so those folks dropping their meals from 3000 to 300 calories a meal alone is the hugest contributor to their weight loss".
However, I'm not pooh-poohing the method. I have been thinking about a trainer or workout buddy, a dependable, no excuses from either of us, git 'er done type buddy. I know it can be done alone but not by me. I've proven, time and again, that my self motivation dwindles quickly. And I wonder if THAT, the sheer exercise of healthy living, is the last piece missing from me 'keeping the weight off'. It may be that final 'spark' that keeps me in maintenance for the rest of my life.
My only deal breaker is 'no yelling'. I wouldn't take it. I'm not a whiner; I would work as hard as I physically could even it if meant throwing up (as they do) but not if some drill sergeant wanna be decides to treat me like we're at boot camp. I notice those folks leave via airplane when the six months is over (this is at Hilton Head in SC)
Anyway.. what else? Mushy is feeling much better, thank you; still a little hesitant on jumping up in the chair or bed - it's as if she's lost her confidence or something, I don't know - but eating better, more playful, and even had a bath yesterday. She's such a good baby. Maybe she's just getting older too.
And with that, I think I'll go check the chicken brewing on the stove. I think this is part of my motivation for giving food away all the time. I like the smell of something simmering all the time without filling up my freezer or wasting groceries. Someday I'll get to the point of 'one chicken leg & thigh smells just as good as five' but not today.
Dinner tonight with Grace & the Church Ladies. I think I'll take an hour before I go and meditate for peace, calmness and patience as well as the maturity to sit thru the catty comments, breathe and give them the benefit of the doubt, and look forward to meeting some very nice people. Inhale...
Hope you're all having a wonderful day in your world today.
Bella
Sharing some things going on around Bellawood:
That chair I repainted - maybe will redo really 'arty' some day:
Before refinishing:
After - yes, that's my dusty treadmill behind them...
Another little project I did - no before pic though - still looking for a base / dresser for it:
Some (of several) of the succulents around ... love propagating them:
One of the many pineapple's planted this summer:
And some of the flowers still blooming:
And the thing I tell myself multiple times a day:
