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Terrible day all around yesterday. Spent the whole day in the house, really mad. DH interrupted and interfered with anything I wanted to do. I avoided the baby a lot because I was in such a bad mood. He kept putting his fingers in his ears, there was so much screaming. I was exhausted and had such a headache. But we were going to my sister's house last night and I had to cook a bunch of stuff. Other sis and her husband are visiting. The baby hadn't napped so he was really tired. I was sitting for a few minutes at the table. I usually don't sit, I follow him around and hover around him. It was just a few seconds and I knew he was by the stairs, although I couldn't see him, I could hear him. In an instant he was wailing, and next thing I knew he had the deepest color blood streaming down his face. He must have slipped and bumped his head on the bottom edge of the wrought iron banister. He likes to sit on the bottom step. DH and bil took him to the ER and he got 3 stitches just next to his eye, under his brow. I wasn't there for my little guy yesterday, and it's all my fault this happened.
Diet Calendar Entry for 06 September 2014:
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1394 kcal
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Fat: 79.83g | Prot: 103.97g | Carb: 74.88g.
Breakfast: Blue Diamond Almond Breeze Unsweetened Vanilla Milk, Green's Chocolate Babka, nutrihealth fiber 50/50, Trader Joe's Persian Cucumber. Lunch: Chicken Thigh, Radish, Cooked Young Green Onion (from Fresh), Giant Eagle Cherry Tomatoes, Mixed Salad Greens, Chicken Thigh, Marketside Field Greens Salad, Beef Top Sirloin (Trimmed to 1/8" Fat), White Sweet Corn (Kernels On Cob, Frozen). Dinner: Ground Beef (Cooked), Chicken Drumstick Meat (Broilers or Fryers, Roasted, Cooked). Snacks/Other: America's Choice Natural Walnuts, Date, Blue Diamond Almond Breeze Unsweetened Vanilla Milk, Koppers Cocoa Dusted Almonds. more...
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 Comments
Tulip, you cannot follow little guy every second. It is not your fault, things happen. So sorry that you and dh had another horrible day.
06 Sep 14 by member: wholefoodnut
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It was an accident. You can't watch over him every seconds 24/7. Luckily it was just 3 stitches and he didn't hurt his eye. Kids will fall and hurt themselves. We can only pray that it won't be anything serious. My niece broke her arm and later her leg by her sixth birthday and it's not because my sister was a careless mother. She is a great mom.
06 Sep 14 by member: snezica
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You know, this can go on, and on for years, unless someone makes a drastic change. I'd be more worried about the internal scars you guys are leaving on that baby, than the external ones. (putting his fingers in his ears...)
You guys need to have a discussion with a counselor, in a spirit of resolution. IMO .
06 Sep 14 by member: NowIunderstand
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Sorry to hear about the accident, but they happen, they are out of our control. However, the overall atmosphere in the house is not an accident and should be within control. Screaming about issues that bother us never works, talking about them objectively, without getting emotional does.
06 Sep 14 by member: AilaOne
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Internal scars, yes. My grown daughters still have those scars as their dad turned abusive towards me. I should have left, years of counseling and trying to fix it, left them and me with huge issues to deal with.
06 Sep 14 by member: wholefoodnut
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many good comments here... internal scars are what have created some of my disordered eating habits. Be careful, loving and nurturing to all members of your family - you included. Sending you love, dear friend. And, yes, you cannot be there 24/7 for the baby. My mom tried to do that for me and I'm just now realizing that the fear that that instilled in me has kept me bound up internally for over 40 years. Give a little freedom, some pain may come of it but so will some breathing space - which it sounds like all of you might benefit from...
06 Sep 14 by member: Sweet Ce
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Not your fault! Things happen but just keep in mind that children learn by example. Whatever you do now is going to determine how your child acts in the future. he learns from your actions. If you and your DH scream with each other, then that is how he is going to learn to communicate with you and your husband and even later on will find a nice little wife that screams at him and him at her. If you want your child to have it better and you to have it better you have to learn to communicate more wisely. They watch and pick up on everything we do including our unhealthy habits. This is not only directed at you but myself and others as well. We all need to do better for our children. The world is going to pot because we aren't.
06 Sep 14 by member: Jbeth30
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I don't know you at all, but it sounds like I got along better with ex #3, and we came close to exchanging gunfire.... Who benefits from you staying with a man with whom you obviously share no affection? If it has not already turned physical, it may be time to think about leaving before it does, because it sounds like it is heading there.
06 Sep 14 by member: eddie1261
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@Jbeth30 - Excellent post! And that's exactly it. But I find it's not all the parent's fault. A lot of it is created by our social lifestyle. Stressful jobs, money problems, drug and alcohol problems, lack of education in parenting skills, the all too easy credit that lets people live beyond their means and then get entangled in debt for all the new toys. People tired out, eating bad... there are so many ills that plaque our society today. The children are the ones that suffer for it. The best thing I did was go to therapy and take child rearing courses. I taught me a lot about myself, my own behavior and the psychology of people. (still learning on the lot of it) :) . @Tulipgirl, you must act and do something, for all involved. Divorce should be the very last resort, because that's no fun either and opens up another can of worms when children are involved. At least try to fix this proactively, and not just be a passenger on a trainwreck.
06 Sep 14 by member: NowIunderstand
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Don't beat yourself up -- accidents happen! Try to be kind to yourself, and take care of you too. Taking care of others becomes easier then. xoxox
06 Sep 14 by member: Ruhu
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Accidents do happen no matter how vigilant you are. You aren't the only parent there. Where was DH? Let the anger, resentment and guilt feelings go. They don't help you. Move on. Where do you see yourself a year from now? Going through the same drama? Five years from now? Sometimes it helps to do lists, the good in the relationship, the bad, how it is impacting you and especially how it is impacting your child. Make informed decisions. You can get free legal advice if needed. You can get marriage counseling. I suggest you be proactive for your child's sake if not for your own. I hope this situation isn't as bad as I am reading into it. Be strong and be happy. Take care.
06 Sep 14 by member: kattay
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So sorry little guy had to get stitches, but he needed it. Wish there was something I could say to make you feel better. It was an accident. Try to relax, breathe deep and let your mind think of good thoughts.
06 Sep 14 by member: Deb_N
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FYI, my 12 yo triplet grandkids were here a few weeks ago. They all know how to use kitchen knives... probably since they were 6..gramma taught them. Nick picked one up, cut a piece of bread, and his hand... 4 hours and 4 stitches in the ER later. He's fine now...
06 Sep 14 by member: wholefoodnut
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Every Child has parents who at one time or another could have been more attentive if they had the emotional reserves. Accidents happen even when we are only a few feet away. Huggs to you. J
06 Sep 14 by member: JovialJ
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I agree that it NOT YOUR FAULT that your little guy took a tumble...AND he does have two parents, right? DH could (should?) also have been on alert as well to be sure he was safe.
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In an instant accidents happen...and that is what it was...an accident. Head wounds bleed really badly as the skin is stretched tight across there so it opens up further than normal. It could have happened if you were right next to him. My son once got a black eye falling in a walmart parking lot. He hit just right and everything around his eye turned black and blue. He had just let go of our hands and fell.
07 Sep 14 by member: kmunson
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Don't beat yourself up. My son when he started to walk was holding the coffee table he manged to hit the side of his head a light bruise. We can't wrap our children in bubble wrap.. I felt horrible yet to this day he has managed to to survive.
08 Sep 14 by member: deaby16
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