Ruhu's Journal, 20 August 2014

Emotional eating -- has it been there all along?, as my angel pondered too, am I examining these emotions better as I age because I'm getting smarter?, do I just have more emotions to examine and/or more time to do so? I think, for me, like for many things I'm life, its a combination of these all. Going through menopause, becoming an empty nester (even though one has returned to the nest, but more as an adult then a child to be raised), parenting my mom instead of my sons as she progresses with Alzheimer's , etc. has certainly changed the emotions I'm feeling now. As I've said many times, being a mom was the dream career for me, so semi-retiring from that has been hard for me. Just as my therapist had suggested that there may not be an activity that feels as good (short-term) and emotionally releasing for me as eating sugar, there hasn't been an activity or cause or hobby or job that i've felt as passionate about as being a mom. Don't get me wrong, I'm not interested in starting over again in terms of child raising, but I may not find something else that I'm as passionate about and that so encompasses me as to on its own put food in its proper place. Thats the why for me that I need to work & focus on doing so for myself.

I certainly don't mean to be gloom & doom at all, as this is truly an exciting, adventurous time. I'm trying new things, going new places and spending time with new people (like all of awesome you)! And as I've done with my eating, I'm seeing what works for me, what I want to do more of and letting go of the rest. So, it's a really exciting time too with much self-reflection and major life & relationship improvements with my DH and others.

So, I'm off now to some of those things I truly love (like all of you) now -- praying followed by a good workout --

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

And I'll pray, breathe, journal, log, stay curious & express my way through this one day and each one meal, moment, bite, thought & emotion. I'm so grateful for each of brilliant you, my family & IRL friends, more beautiful weather on the east coast, & having the health & wealth to explore and live this life I love! xoxox

Diet Calendar Entries for 20 August 2014:
1250 kcal Fat: 37.51g | Prot: 111.32g | Carb: 138.52g.   Breakfast: Primal Nutrition Primal Fuel - Vanilla Coconut Creme, Lactaid 100% Lactose Free Fat Free Milk, Spectrum Naturals Organic Coconut Oil, Harmless Harvest 100% Raw Coconut Water. Lunch: Lactaid 100% Lactose Free Fat Free Milk, Primal Nutrition Primal Fuel - Chocolate Coconut. Dinner: Simply Enjoy Grilled Mixed Vegetables, Cantaloupe Melons, Lactaid 100% Lactose Free Lowfat Small Curd Cottage Cheese. Snacks/Other: Evolve Greek Kefir, Mann's Sunny Shores Rainbow Salad, Whole Foods Market Avocado Vinaigrette Dressing, Ralphs Whole Raw Almonds. more...
1994 kcal Activities & Exercise: Bicycling (very fast) - 17.5/mph - 1 hour, Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 15 hours. more...

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Comments 
There's a quote about 'an unexamined life' but I haven't had enough coffee to find it yet.. LOL. Regardless, I think this is the best time of our lives.. to be able to think about what we're doing and make choices. You're doing great Angel. I'm proud of you. 
20 Aug 14 by member: FullaBella
Don't be hard on yourself, right now you have a lot on your plate. I don't have the answers but keep talking to your therapist when it tends to overwhelm you. Do you knit, sew, make quilts, etc. Sometimes hobbies reignite our spirits. Wishing you the best. 
20 Aug 14 by member: toppy24564
It’s strange that food has become a companion to many of us. And although we are in control of the quality of the relationship, we rarely take the time to acknowledge the good, the bad, and the emotional triggers. I’m painfully realizing that all of the excessive food that I eat is usually a replacement for something else lacking in my life. I love that you are becoming more self-aware. I don’t see the gloom and doom I see growth and a new chapter for you. It’s wonderful to see.  
20 Aug 14 by member: ChicaLean
It's great to have the time for self reflection and the maturity to put the fruits of that introspection into perspective. Life is short, so go forth and live it with gusto - just as you are doing. I'm glad you are excited about making new discoveries about yourself. Perhaps you will be your new passion :) Finding out all about you. We think she's wonderful so I hope you discover that you are as happy with her as we are.  
20 Aug 14 by member: sarahsmum
xoxoxo 
20 Aug 14 by member: SherrieC
It's great to have the time for self reflection and the maturity to put the fruits of that introspection into perspective. Life is short, so go forth and live it with gusto - just as you are doing. I'm glad you are excited about making new discoveries about yourself. Perhaps you will be your new passion :) Finding out all about you. We think she's wonderful so I hope you discover that you are as happy with her as we are.  
20 Aug 14 by member: sarahsmum
Think about something you have always wanted to learn to do. Good time to dive in and try it.  
20 Aug 14 by member: wholefoodnut
I dearly appreciate what sarahsmum says: YOU will be your new passion!  
21 Aug 14 by member: Sweet Ce

     
 

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