jenalena's Journal, 19 August 2014

Yep - it's a two entry day. I'm fixated on food, all that I can think about is food, and my only outlet that doesn't have me eating is to play on FS and look at ways to eat food better.

I just spent a few moments staring at my reflection. It's hard to find the pretty in me some days. I'm not feeling sorry for myself, I don't think that I'm ugly, and I'm not depressed. I'm just saying, that some days it's hard to look into the mirror and just feel/look pretty. I'm focusing so much energy on eating right and losing pounds, that sometimes I just don't see any progress in the mirror.

In an effort to revise my personal image, I realized that the courdoroy pants that I'm wearing are pants that I danced in joy that I could fit into them a few years ago. I wiggled and sached down the aisle as I pranced in pride that I had lost the 30 lbs needed to fit into these pants. This year, I just needed to lose 8 lbs to get into them. And they aren't tight. That's really good. But my standards have changed, 20 more pounds from now I'll be prancing again. I wonder how many of us are in our prancing around because we're skinnier, but not skinny? How many women are ultra proud of their new appearance although it isn't a size 6? Just food for thought.

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2148 kcal

Fat: 82.12g | Prot: 83.95g | Carb: 181.90g.   Breakfast: Breakfast Burrito, Coffee, Coffee-Mate Sugar Free Italian Sweet Creme Coffee Creamer. Lunch: Cream (Half & Half), Coffee, Clif Bar Clif Bar - White Chocolate Macadamia Nut. Dinner: Cabernet Sauvignon Wine, A&W Diet Root Beer (Can), Pizza Hut BBQ Pizza. more...