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I keep telling my doctor that it's all a matter of knowing my limits to control my symptoms. I think I really am only trying to convince myself. I had convinced myself that it was all related to how much I do, how hard I push myself... I haven't pushed myself today. Certainly not as much as other days, but tonight is one of the worst nights in a long time. I'm confused and saying the wrong words, pain and muscle weakness. I don't know, maybe it's a culmination of all of the last few weeks and working so hard finally catching up. Maybe it will be gone by tomorrow. I pray it will be. I don't want to have to slow down.
The other day the doc asked me if I was ready to try and go back to work and all I could think about was the muscle twitching and pain and non-purposeful movements that I truly just didn't want to tell her about. So now I have walked away knowing that she thinks I am doing better than I really am. I am grateful to God for bringing me this far, being that I was walking with a cane last February, when I could walk...
I guess I just wanted so bad for the concept of being able to control the symptoms and live half way normal that I convinced myself that things were much better and now am somehow surprised when, after over working it, I am starting to feel just as bad as when I was working.
Anyway, I don't want to be all sad sally on ya. I just don't know what to do with myself and I don't want to have a sob story every time I go in to see my doctor. No Bueno!!
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No Bueno indeed!
I'm going to be mommy-like here... TELL YOUR DOCTOR EVERYTHING. Woman, come on. You can't not tell her these things. If it were a cold, okay, if it were I hurt my foot doing roughness in the bedroom and I tell her I hurt it doing something else... okay.
But not this. I know pretty much where you are, I've been there, too. We make mantras of how good we feel, how we must be getting better, how this and how that... but in the end, our body will tell us one way or another, regardless of the things we try to convince ourselves of.
Reiteration, tell her!
Other though... do you stay crazy hydrated? My chiari's get's especially bad when I am less than over hydrated. Have you tried the Crystal Light Wild Strawberry drink? I have 4 to 9 of the 17 oz bottles with that mix in it a day. It has helped more than I can tell you. It's a combo of the water (which I can NOT drink plain, no way), and the caffeine. The Caffeine helps to shrink blood vessels, and the water prevents the brain "pruning" we experience when we are dehydrated. Between the two, it helps with the headaches, the Cerebral spinal fluid backup, the cognition issues, vertigo, and a slew of other things. If you haven't tried it, please give it a shot. It can't hurt, and may make a world of difference to you, like it did to me.
I am sending HUGE mental hugs your way, Jamaica. and going to say again, FULL DISCLOSURE to the docs.
<3 you, sweetie, take care!
25 Feb 11 by member: cyberpyxi
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