|
Its Saaattttuuurrddaaayyyy!
Oi, I have had it up to here. *holds a flat hand to my forehead*
Thankfully, its okay. Because I have taken a lot of this anger and fueled it into an intense work out today.
Today's work out was actually fueled by two categories of emotions.
One was happiness- happiness that came from the fact that I didnt binge last night. It seems night time, after dinner, i my most challenging time. I'll eat dinner until I am full, but I just want to eat MORE to binge.
Its taken a lot of conscious thought not to. I do anything at all to keep my busy. When I am not in the mood to write, I watch a movie, or try to do lots of little things like brush my teeth, wash my face, do my nails, etc.
The other set of feelings that fueled my work out today were feelings from thinking about my mom's behavior lately.
I feel hurt, angry, rejected... but when i set those aside, i feel determined.
I dont mean to be all up on my high horse. I just want to show her that I CAN do this.
We took my brother to the dentist yesterday. When he was all done, he said, "They said I could drink something right now, and just wait an hour to eat. So can we go grab a drink and something to eat in a little while?"
I said, "Yeah, can we mom? I'm pretty hungry too."
She turns to me and says, "You want to eat again? You just ate! Do you really think you should be eating again?"
She saw me eat some baby carrots 2 hours before then. So I wasnt f***ing starving, I could have waited until we got home if we were going home right away. But she said we were going to run errands and I knew I wouldnt last another two hours.
But her comment made me furious. I felt like telling her off.
She has no right to say things like that. And she knows it gets to me. Uggghh!
Whatever. I am letting it go. If she makes those kinds of comments, obviously there is something there that she needs to resolve within herself. Its not my issue. I am perfectly fine with the way I eat.
I'm actually hungry now. Time to take a shower and make a snack. Its 3:30 already?! Damn. Almost time to start on dinner lol
Diet Calendar Entries for 28 March 2009:
|
1160 kcal
|
Fat: 33.92g | Prot: 89.95g | Carb: 133.06g.
Breakfast: milk, banana oat meal , banana. Lunch: tlc bar honey almond, sardines. Dinner: broccoli, tomato, ketchup, salmon burger, light whole wheat bread, honey mustard, almonds, dried cherries, spinach. Snacks/Other: baby carrots, max protein. more...
|
|
2781 kcal
|
Activities & Exercise:
Shopping - 35 minutes, Driving - 30 minutes, Circuit Training - 35 minutes, Desk Work - 1 hour, Housework - 1 hour, Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 11 hours, Dance (fast step, aerobic) - 1 hour, Running (jogging) - 5/mph - 10 minutes, Walking (exercise) - 3.5/mph - 10 minutes. more...
|
|
 Comments
Gee ... just wondering ... not suggesting you do it ... but what if you looked right in her eyes, smiled sweetly and said ... "yes ... I'm f***ing ravenous!!!" Sometimes do the unexpected with her ... give her a reaction but simply not the one she is aiming for ... it will confuse the hell out of her!!! LOL!!!
28 Mar 09 by member: madaboutmoose
|
You want to eat again? You just ate! Do you really think you should be eating again?" Well, my reply would have been "Yes I am hungry. Some days I am hungrier than others and what I have learned is that is ok. Since I now listen to what my body wants and needs I am listening to it tell me I am hungry and need to eat." Then big smile!! ;) ta da!! Hang in their girly! You go!!
28 Mar 09 by member: dawn0001
|
Maybe you should educate your mother that eating more often actually increases your metabolism instead of halting it like starving yourself does? Hmph. I wouldn't have the patience to deal w/ my mother if she acted that way towards me. I'd tell her off. Lol.
29 Mar 09 by member: Starladesiree
|
OK... I'm proud of you for not saying anything, but at the same time I gotta agree with everyone else lol- sometimes you've gotta speak up. She's pulling an unnecessary power trip and playing dirty. It's not right. She needs to start thinking about herself and quit lashing out. Hope today is better for you...
29 Mar 09 by member: QuirkyNat
|
I'm sorry you have to deal with that. It's hard, I know. I've been in the same position. People just don't understand. I'm proud of you!
29 Mar 09 by member: ohitsashley
|
Hang in there...your doing great since you signed up FS. You can continue to keep on going. Maby it's time to have a heart to heart with your Mom. Sit down with her and talk things out. Don't use the word you at the start of the conversations. Use I feel like crap when you get short with me. I'm your kiddo, I'm here for ya Mom I need you to be here for me too. etc... I hope this helps. I've got 5 kiddos and I get out of line myself...I often feel like I sprut out my to-do's more than my praises but I'll tell ya what I am the only person who can change that. There will always be the to-do list but I myself need to step up to the bat and say hey kiddo you did a great job, even if there are still a million pieces of food on the floor after they have swept. If I expect them to notice the Laundry, bathrooms, meals...I better realise that I reap what I sow. It's tough being a kid it's also tough being a parent. When there is a Goal in foucs, it's easier to reach it as a team. I know you've talked about the whole wake up and kiss her butt thing. What about this just for one whole week wake up FIND things that need to be done and do them without asking. Randomly take out the trash, grab the cleaner wash the windows, scrub the bathrooms, make her favorite meal for dinner. Just for one week pretend it's Mother's day. I'm sure it will do wonders for the both of you. You reap what you sow. You can make a difference in how she treats you. If she treats you like crap, still give your best. I know it sounds wacked out, and yes I'll admit it is...I'm sure that's why it works.
29 Mar 09 by member: Howitzerwife
|
Girly, do you think that maybe your mom's jealous of you because you're losing weight the "old fashion way"? Sorry if I'm being nosy.
31 Mar 09 by member: MOM2JEM
|
| |
|
|
| |
Submit a Comment
You must sign in to submit a comment
|
|
|
Other Related Links
Members
|
girlygirlatheart's weight history
|