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Major binge on Sunday. I haven't recorded a binge in a while. I think it's good for me to see how many calories I ate. Kind of ridiculous in fact. It's funny how eating is just a compulsive thing for me sometimes and I don't even think about how things taste while I am eating them. I just want them to taste sweet. Then afterwards I feel so stuffed and realize that I didn't even enjoy all the things that I ate.
I was watching old episodes of that "Ruby" show, and they showed this technique called Gentle Eating. Basically it's slowing down while you are eating and appreciating your food for its texture, its different tastes, where it came from, etc. In the episode they were not allowed to talk, drink water, or otherwise entertain themselves while eating. I think that I really need to exercise some of these tactics, b/c eating just becomes wolfing down food while doing work or watching television. I think that savoring my food would help me to really appreciate it and eat less.
I am somewhat becoming scared because I am reverting back to some old habits, such as eating in secret. I thought that this would magically go away after I got married since my husband would be around. However I have somehow found ways to return to old habits. Last week I was stopping by the grocery store before work and eating cookies at my desk. I finished all of them before it was time for me to go home so he wouldn't seen the box. One time I actually hid the cookies in the trunk of my car!
I know that this is a lot to write, but I am hoping that putting these horrible habits out into cyberspace would help me to feel more accountable for my actions. So I am basically calling myself out. I know that there are others out there who can understand my story and who are fighting similar behaviors.
There is hope!
Diet Calendar Entries for 13 May 2014:
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911 kcal
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Fat: 26.99g | Prot: 94.98g | Carb: 87.72g.
Breakfast: Pines Wheat Grass Powder, Squeez'd Tropical Green Detox, Quest Vanilla Almond Crunch. Lunch: Baby Spinach, Grape Tomatoes, Fresh Express Salad 50/50 Mix, Great Value Grilled Chicken Strips, Cucumber (with Peel). Dinner: Trader Joe's Frozen Chopped Spinach, Fresh Direct Crab Stuffed Salmon. Snacks/Other: Jack Link's Original Reduced Sodium Beef Jerky. more...
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1997 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Total Sculpt - 1 hour, Resting - 15 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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