MightyFull's Journal, 09 May 2014

Day 11 - weigh in 228.8

Well, it FINALLY happened. I'm uncertain if it is just due to sheer exhaustion and hopefully not simply the grieving wave is returning, trying to sabotage my productive efforts. HEY GRIEF-I RECOGNIZE YOU! (Just in case, you know.) Had a great day. Got home, and as usual, I'm tired. Husband headed out to do laundry. I was hungry - and made up supper and played on ipad. Found myself on the screened in porch until mosquitoes found there way to me. I had planned to do Fire 55 (Turbo Fire)...was actually dreading it. I knew what kind of energy it needed and I was unable to motivate myself to find it. (Thus my sneaking suspicions that it could be the grief slipping back in.) So I succumbed and did no exercise. Read a little, watched an episode of Mad Men, and called it a night around 10pm. Settled in and slept hard until around 1am - Husband came to bed, and the call of nature pulled me from my sleep. Plus having really weird dream about being in a Taurus in my parents back yard with two flat, flat tires. Weird thing in the dream, I didn't realize they were flat and had been driving at a high rate of speed prior to stopping by to visit Mom. She pointed out the tires...and I started to get a headache. Woke up to find that the headache was in reality. So envision grumpy me, being all mouthy and being ugly. (Of which I'm not proud.) Since hubby wasn't asleep, he mentioned draft. CRAP! FORGOT to include that on our FB page for work. Insert mouthiness. (not proud of it) Got the ipad and started a post...it timed out and disappeared. (GRUMPY) Finally got the laptop and got everything updated. Then couldn't go to sleep. So back out comes the ipad, fed some dinosaurs (Jurassic Park) and took some Benadryl (sinus headache) and turned on the air. It was 80 degrees in our house. Seriously, there is no reason. Went back to bed and my mind would not shut up. Could NOT get this song out of my mind: "Thrift Shop" - Macklemore and Ryan Lewis. No amount of "SHUT UP AND GO TO BED!" was working. So I tried to will my mind to focus on the sounds of the fan. FINALLY, sometime after 2:30am I was able to get back to sleep. 6:30am (Day 12) came too soon. Sorry, normally I would report that tomorrow, but we have a youth trip tomorrow, so I'll report in probably Sunday (or Saturday, if not too tired).

Wonder if my anger stems from grieving process or am I just tired? Time will tell. Hoping that by recognizing what appears to be grief, that I will continue to push forward and not regress. I cannot begin to share with you how enlightening it was to finally realize that my weight gain was my way of bottling up my feelings and grieving for the loss of my father. Thank goodness I have recognized it for what it is -- it's in the light now -- and with God's grace and strength, it will come off. I will find other more productive and positive ways to express my grief. One of the ways is you - I am opening up to you and sharing my struggles versus holding them inside with the illusion that I can do it all myself. I can't. Thank you for holding me accountable. That's why I post like I do. I know it's not just me holding me accountable. It's you. You are holding me accountable. You are holding me to my word. You are here to encourage, support, and kick me in the butt when I need it. And for that, I thank you! I need this outlet.

Okay, so the stats (which I figured up Day 12--again the "laziness" was strong last night):

Stats:
1377 calories
30 fat
249 carbs
38 fiber
64 protein
129 sugar
64 fl oz water
7 fruit/veggies

P.S. So thankful I have a Heavenly Father who doesn't mind listening to me ramble on about what's on my heart/mind/spirit on the way to work this morning. Sometimes, it's great to just say it out loud. :)

Overall: Success!

Diet Calendar Entries for 09 May 2014:
1814 kcal Fat: 42.30g | Prot: 71.12g | Carb: 323.44g.   Breakfast: Navels Oranges, Honey, Dutch Country Extra Fiber Bread, Instant Breakfast Essentials No Sugar Added - Rich Milk Chocolate, Pure Almond Milk - Original, PB2 Powdered Peanut Butter, Bottled Water. Lunch: Beachbody Shakeology - Greenberry, Water (Bottled), Pear. Dinner: Sandwich Relish, Dutch Country Extra Fiber Bread, Spring Mix, Vine Sweet Mini Peppers, Meatless Spicy Chick'n Patties. Snacks/Other: Strawberries, Navels Oranges, Gelato Indulgences Tiramisu, Ferrero Tic Tac Freshmints, Vanilla Yogurt Raisins, Tap Water, Apples, Bananas, Lipton Black Tea Bags, Bell Plantation PB2 Powdered Peanut Butter. more...
2936 kcal Activities & Exercise: Calisthenics (light, e.g. home exercise) - 10 minutes, Elliptical - Calorie 8-Advanced. 2.38 miles - 39 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 15 hours and 11 minutes. more...
on diet MightyFull's own diet  

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Comments 
Brain racing! True that! And I must make a corruption to your post….the proper term for your husband it not Grumpy. It is Grumpy Old Man. Yesterday, I threatened my husband with cloning myself and then he would have two of me to deal with. Thanks for posting….remember, you are always stronger than you think you are! 
10 May 14 by member: MrsRatfire
That was "correction" not corruption….that auto word fix drives me nuts sometimes! 
10 May 14 by member: MrsRatfire
Corruption works. 
10 May 14 by member: cpmodem
Yeah, I think you have a point! 
10 May 14 by member: MrsRatfire
this has nothing to do with nothing except I can't find the challenge I joined talk about a bad wake up day, Brainwise only I feel great. Lost .6 lbs, my mind is just miss combobulated. Lite headed (lol) 
10 May 14 by member: flrnchughes
this has nothing to do with nothing except I can't find the challenge I joined talk about a bad wake up day, Brainwise only I feel great. Lost .6 lbs, my mind is just miss combobulated. Lite headed (lol) 
10 May 14 by member: flrnchughes

     
 

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