|
Even though I kept busy and got all of my book work deadlines met over the weekend, I still found time to stray from my course of mindful eating. And while I'm striving for more progress staying on that path, I took some time and now have come to terms with what I can again learn from my mindlessness.
Guilt! It's a dangerous thing, and an area this people-pleasing gal needs to work on, and find ways to handle other than eating the feelings. It's a long story, but a change in plans over the weekend, left me home alone on Sat night (as my choice) and DH out (as his choice). Although we were both doing what we wanted and in a good place in out relationship & about choosing to spend the night apart, I still had guilt that I had not succumbed to his wishes. So, instead of using my tools, I let the guilt get the best of me, and mindlessly ate instead. I hadn't even thought of it as guilt until I talked to my therapist about it yesterday, and we began discussing how I can better handle it in the future… one way in particular, is to watch my thoughts on it, and try to start initiating gentler, kinder, more supportive thoughts to myself. So, today, in sarahsmum's wise footsteps, I'm starting a new count NSNGng (no sugar, no grains, no guilt) and am on to day 2:)!
I also spoke to the therapist about ways I've been trying to soothe myself when I'm feeling emotional -- guilt, stress, etc. -- and want to eat when I'm not truly hungry. She mentioned that if I'm looking for something that will give me that same high as those first sweet bites have in the past, I may never find it. I hadn't though of it that way, but along those same lines as drugs & alcohol highs, it makes sense & helps me think more realistically about my "self-care comfort zone", and how i care for myself in emotional times.
So, all-in-all, more progress in my learning along this never dull, always changing journey of mine. I'm off to workout shortly then up to work for the day, but first I'll pray --
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
And for this one day and through each one meal, moment, bite, thought & emotion, I'll pray, breathe, log, journal & express my way. I'm so very grateful for each of you -- you, who are always here for me regardless of my story or where my journey has taken me, my family & IRL friends, Day 2 NSNGng, hot bulletproof coffee, a beautiful & sunny day yesterday with a wonderful walk in the woods with my doggie, and having the health & wealth to live this life I love! xoxox
Diet Calendar Entries for 29 April 2014:
|
1311 kcal
|
Fat: 58.00g | Prot: 88.00g | Carb: 131.00g.
Breakfast: Spectrum Naturals Organic Coconut Oil, Harmless Harvest 100% Raw Coconut Water, Primal Nutrition Primal Fuel - Vanilla Coconut Creme, Lactaid 100% Lactose Free Fat Free Milk. Lunch: Primal Nutrition Primal Fuel - Chocolate Coconut, Lactaid 100% Lactose Free Fat Free Milk. Dinner: Stew Leonard's Healthy Eggplant Tomato Bisque, The Chia Co Chia Pod Blueberry. Snacks/Other: Evolve Greek Kefir, Raw Green Smoothie. more...
|
|
1740 kcal
|
Activities & Exercise:
Resting - 15 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours, Calisthenics (heavy, e.g. pushups) - 1 hour. more...
|
|