thecoach's Journal, 07 February 2011

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I'm going to therapy I walked on the treadmill this morning I didn't do too bad food wise yesterday. So here we go another week.

Why can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Why are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Why do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Why do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Why do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Why do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Why do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

Why do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille.

Chose Your Mottos:

Do I look like a freaking people person?

This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

I started out with nothing...and I still have most of it left.

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

And just how may I screw you over today?

A erection doesn't count as personal growth.

And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?

I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.

I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

One of us is thinking about sex...
OK, it's me.

I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?

I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.

Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

You look like shit. Is that the style now?

Earth is full. Go home.

I thought I wanted a career, turns out all I wanted was paychecks.

I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here or to go?

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Comments

You always make me smile! Doesn't count as personal growth?? Too funny! Have a great week Coach!

07 Feb 11 by member: tntnamomma

Lol

07 Feb 11 by member: skinnygirl130

Most of these also qualify as "Things you wish you could say aloud but cannot". Love it.

07 Feb 11 by member: dsylikm

Still laughing..Bren

07 Feb 11 by member: BHA

May I be multi-mottoed?

07 Feb 11 by member: Junebug7210

Sure ,for you IndyJack anything...........

07 Feb 11 by member: thecoach

HAHAHA!! Sooooo nice to have you as a buddy!

07 Feb 11 by member: macarooon

too funny lol

07 Feb 11 by member: zeikiya989

Hi coach...you walk the blue line of maintenance very well!!!..Thanks for the laughter, I appreciate humor. TOWANDA!!!

07 Feb 11 by member: Lisa Online

07 Feb 11 by member: Junebug7210

how do you like your eggs in the morning? unfertilized

07 Feb 11 by member: missfortune1313

A smile on my face! A good chuckle! THX

08 Feb 11 by member: pretty face

"ATM machines" ... WHY do people say this??? LOL!

08 Feb 11 by member: jsfantome

Earth is full. Go home. Oh, how many times have I been tempted to say that one!!!

08 Feb 11 by member: mammasix

For the same reason they say (P)ersonal (I)dentification (N)umber number.

08 Feb 11 by member: CMR

you are a crack up.

08 Feb 11 by member: radiochick

LOL...Towanda:)

08 Feb 11 by member: Lisa Online

LOL, always nice to smile. Thanks.

08 Feb 11 by member: Raven46

Here is mine! Do I look like a freaking people person? Your awesome, thanks for the laugh, as usual!!

08 Feb 11 by member: pennywilliams

Gosh I really love the new picture, lol. :D

08 Feb 11 by member: Junebug7210

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thecoach's Journal, 07 February 2011

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