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My husband fixed fajitas tonight! I had to have some! We haven't had fajitas in forever. I don't like all the trimmings like most people. Peppers and onions make me wanna up-chuck... I really though it was going to kill my good behavior to eat these tonight, but it really wasn't to terribly bad. I managed with two corn tortillas, the beef, a little bit of sour cream on each (usually the sour cream does me in!!!) and a sliver of avocado on each one and I had a meal at around 415 calories. So, while it will not become a habit, I still managed, by my surprise, to be able to keep my self under check for the most part.
And to make up for the fajitas tonight, extra stepper while the kids and I were watching the Biggest Loser. I have to be careful about my influence on them. My 7 year old looks awesomely fit and healthy, very muscular frame, not an inch of body fat, but she has the same mitochondrial disease that I have. She loves to be active, and believe it or not, she loves to exercise (unless it is in gym class....) The only problem is, she doesn't have the reserves I have to handle so much activity. Once she uses up her stores from what she ate, there's no more and she makes a crazy turn. She get s very sleepy, and cranky and her muscles hurt so much, especially in her legs and she gets terrible headaches. And if she has seriously gone to far, she has a melt down that is uncontrollable. It's like she gets confused and just starts crying and she doesn't know why, and the pain is at the same time, and she gets major sensory overload.
Tonight was especially bad. I tried to get her to calm down and not run around and exercise and she just kept saying she liked to. Then it started. She sat down, almost fell asleep on the couch, and her legs and head started hurting and she gets weak in her legs. Then came the meltdown. She cried until she fell asleep and then when she woke up about 10 minutes later I had to talk to her about why she felt like that, again. It's hurtful to see her like that. And it's so hard to explain to your 7 year old why they feel so yucky. She understands, she's a smart girl, but she's 7. You can't really stop her from doing it. She has to learn her body's limitations just like I do. I don't like to have to limit her. She loves to be outside and active. It's always a rough night when she overdoes it. I can almost be assured that she will be up a couple of times tonight in pain or confused. She gets really confused at nighttime. I used to think it was night terrors because she would just be crying, and it would seem like she was awake, but there was never anything I could do to make her better. I had to get her up, take her to the bathroom, make her drink and take some medicine and then she would finally be "awake" enough to calm down and go back to bed.
Poor thing. Anyway, I think that was me venting. Trying to personally figure out how to be a good influence on my other kids and help them make good choices while at the same time teach her how to take care of herself given the plight that she has. You know, my conclusion is that I can't do it perfectly. I have to give it to God and He will take care of my baby and teach her how to take care of herself, despite my pitfalls.
=)
Night ya'll!
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