Melissa7802's Journal, 01 April 2014

I have not been around much the past few weeks.. I think I am battling a a little depression. I don't know what happened... but my brain and heart just isn't into much right now... I thankfully have not gained any weight back but I have not lost any either...

I just get so sick of everyone telling me the reason for everything is because I am fat. Yea I know my weight affects just about everything health-related... but why does it need to be brought up? If I say I am tired, I am told that it is because I am fat, if I snore... it's because I am fat... if my RA is flaring up..its because I am fat....

I have understood and accepted how my weight affects me, but I just don't want the constant reminder of it around every turn... its not a congrats.. you lost 25 pounds... its a well I though you said you were losing weight.. when are you going to do that?

And, I have also been informed that I will not be able to go on my trip to Florida... which I was really looking forward to, but deep down, I knew what was going to happen... my boyfriend just got hired for a new company and doesn't want to take the time off work... which I understand... we jut don't have anyone to help us with the kids or watch them and he starts work at 530am...

Sometimes, I just want to come home from work to someone that I believe loves and values me.. and that just has not been there lately... it seems more and more like the love isn't there and I don't know what to say or do anymore. I just keep thinking that there is more out there for me...

I have esp. noticed that he totally disregards my low-carb diet and keeps making things that I cannot eat... then gets mad at me about it... I give up,... thinking I might go see a therapist and talk this shit out with them...

Thanks for listening everyone.... hopefully things will get better for me and wish everyone luck with their diets!!!

Diet Calendar Entry for 01 April 2014:
398 kcal Fat: 24.22g | Prot: 21.84g | Carb: 26.42g.   Lunch: Ken's Steak House Lite Northern Italian Dressing, Chicken or Turkey Salad, Lettuce Salad with Assorted Vegetables, Pepperidge Farms Deli Flats Whole Wheat. more...

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Comments 
Talking to a therapist sounds like a good action to take. I'm sorry others are insensitive with their comments. They most likely always will be. Why does your boyfriend get mad at you about food you cannot eat? If he knows what you can have, then he shouldn't really be getting mad about you not eating something you don't eat. Good luck! I'll keep you in my prayers! 
01 Apr 14 by member: Kris AZ
Good luck! If you feel it's time to talk to someone then it probably is. Men, well just ugh sometimes. Sorry about your trip.  
01 Apr 14 by member: RoseFlorida
oh dear..I was down like you a while ago..I used to get so frustrated and mad at everyone brought this up..whether a doctor or a friend..the key is just to focus on YOURSELF ...don't listen to them..you know your problems better than anyone and only you can solve it for your own sake..they just don't know they give you negative useless energy...AVOID it as much as you can please..you're STRONG ;-)  
01 Apr 14 by member: deehigss
You are a very special person with a great deal to offer yourself, your family and BF. What matters is what you feel and think. Weight may contribute to health issues but many skinny persons suffer the same issues you describe. Many persons who carry extra weight live very healthy lives with no adverse issues such as fatigue, depression, etc. In other words your weight is not the focus of your health nor is it totally responsible for health conditions. Losing weight is probably something you have chosen to undertake and the benefits of doing so may or may not change your health but may have other positive effects. What is most important is how you view yourself. You sound like you work and take care of a family. What is one thing you can do for just you today to feel more positive? Whatever you do for your health, weight loss and happiness needs to be for you and your outlook. Take one day at a time. Sometimes one moment at a time. If you continue to feel down there are medications that can be prescribed to help as well as a counselor. Take care! 
02 Apr 14 by member: caroldiff
I'm so sorry to hear about your trip. I know how much you've been looking forward to it. If you feel like talking to a therapist will help you, then go for it. As one FS buddy said: "we can only change ourselves". So focus on what you think will make you happy.  
02 Apr 14 by member: ZivaDavid11
Thanks everyone!! I am feeling a little less sad today.. but I do think it is time to see someone about it.... at this point, I need at the very least someone to talk to! And yes, men are so ugh sometimes! I am sorry about my trip also.. but I understand the need for my boyfriend to go back to work and with no one to watch the kids, it just won't work... I will def. be rescheduling it! 
03 Apr 14 by member: Melissa7802
This has been a long, gray, dark, cold winter and many of us including my skinny friends, are depressed and finding days difficult. We are all tired and wanting to sleep more than usual. Our resilience it just not there and everything hurts. Optimism is at an all time low and others are as miserable as we are and spread the gloom and try to pass on their pain. Soon as the weather turns warmer and we have more sun...go out and soak it in. Your mood will improve and so will that of those around you and how other people behave will be less significant to you. 
04 Apr 14 by member: Charades Ashanti

     
 

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