Yolanda9179's Journal, 27 February 2014

I have officially arrived in ONE-DERLAND. What an epic Thursday! I remember when I started this journey looking down at 286 on the scale and I thought Oh my god, I have SO FAR to go! How will I ever be able to stick to a diet long enough to get there? It seemed impossible. Now I'm nearing my final fifty to hit my goal, it's hard to wrap my head around it. I'm not special, haven't had any personal trainers or nutritionists, wasn't able to quit my job and ditch my family to focus solely on my weight loss efforts. I'm just a regular young woman, trying to make the bills on time and keep food on the table. I've eaten lots of pizza, attended lots of birthday parties and holidays, drank more wine than I'd like to admit, but here I am. Amazing. I'll continue that train of thought next week when I make my final 'one-year' weigh-in.

Yesterday was tricky. We had to leave for Akron early so I had a protein shake before I ran out the door and off we went. When we arrived in the building I really had to pee (its a long drive) so I stopped to use the restroom while my mom and sister headed up the elevator to the office. After relieving myself I decided to take the stairs... hahahaha. I was on the third floor, the doctors office was on the seventh. I sprinted up the stairs, like the badass I am, and was really flying until I reached the sixth floor and realized I was dying lol. Of course it probably would have been a tad easier had I not been wearing a heavy sweater and winter coat. What a rush lol, I'll do it again next time. After the appointment we got lunch in the cafeteria, I chose a slice of pepperoni pizza and a salad with fat free vinaigrette. Options were limited and I knew pizza wasn't the best choice, but salad wasn't going to do lol. I compensated by not adding any calories to my salad (cheese/croutons/etc). When we got back I worked until seven pm. Found some left over pork roast for dinner, got my protein up, and had a yogurt. Not a bad day, although nothing was planned.

Stress has been at an all time high it seems. Baby bro has been in Arizona all of four days and is falling apart. He is depressed, and talking crazy. This started two days ago with the whole "I ruined my whole life and I'm so sorry to you guys" crap. He worries me. You see he never paid his car payments while he had a good job here because he was spending all his money on dope. He quit his job, took his income tax money and ran to AZ to try to 'start over'. Well now he is out of money, and out of suboxone (helps with withdrawals) and he is freaking out. Wants my mom to send money so he can come home. If he comes home, they will take his car for sure, and they should, but still it's exhausting. Obviously they will get his car one way or the other, and that's entirely his fault but he needs to stay there for other reasons. One being to learn how to stand on his own damn feet and stop running to mommy every freaking time something goes wrong. UGH!! Than last night I told my husband I was craving bakery chocolate cake like it was nobody's business and it hit me, I was having stress cravings. Been working on beating this emotional eating crap, and it's taking time but I'm getting better at identifying it for what it is, and that's half the battle I think. Yesterday was hard, but I managed through it without food, and that's a win in my book. One day at a time.

So anywho, thank you for stopping by to enjoy the emotional roller coaster that is 'a day in the life of a Yolanda' lol. By spelling it out here I am putting it away for the day and focusing on me, my life, and things that I can control. Letting go and letting god.

On my agenda today is a trip to the gym, and evening at work, and more math studies. I hope you all have a wonderful day!!
199.4 lb Lost so far: 86.6 lb.    Still to go: 53.4 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.

Diet Calendar Entry for 27 February 2014:
1393 kcal Fat: 49.13g | Prot: 100.88g | Carb: 137.31g.   Breakfast: Egg, Mission Foods White Corn Tortilla, Blue Bonnet Regular Margarine Sticks, Coffee-Mate Original Powder Creamer, Borden Southwest Pepperjack Cheese Wrapped Sandwich Slices. Lunch: Chili, Krusteaz Fat Free Honey Cornbread. Dinner: Ham (Center Slice, Country-Style, Lean Only, Cured), Bush's Best Original Baked Beans. Snacks/Other: EAS Lean 15 Protein Powder - Vanilla Cream. more...
on diet I Work out!  

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Comments 
WELCOME to ONE-DERLAND Yo! You are an AMAZING inspiration and an AMAZING woman! Continued success at reaching your NEXT goal! AWESOME! :) 
27 Feb 14 by member: millerm40
Woooooo! one-derlnad! congrats! 
27 Feb 14 by member: jessabridge4444
Congrats on getting past your emotional food craving. I did that myself, yesterday, so there must be something in the pair. Good for you! 
27 Feb 14 by member: mrsmole
Happy Dance for you - YIPPEE! WAY TO GO!!!!!! Flippin Fantastic!  
27 Feb 14 by member: Lynn1958
I just re-read your journal. You are one STRONG lady! You are an INSPIRATION to many more people than you know, I'm sure. I'm so impressed with you, it brings tears to my eyes. Good for you and keep up the good work! 
27 Feb 14 by member: Lynn1958
Yeah! you did it!!! that is fantastic and you are going to reach your goal with all the planning and thinking about your food and exercise that you do!!! 
27 Feb 14 by member: aggie95
You are not going to stop now! Congrats in reaching that milestone. You deserve it. Now you are in the home stretch. Keep plugging along pound by pound. 
27 Feb 14 by member: kmunson
So happy for you!! You are an amazing woman! So much stress, but you still manage to be positive and get things done. You have learned a lot and in turn taught us all a lot by journaling here. Thanks!! :) 
27 Feb 14 by member: mars2kids
Way to go!!! 
27 Feb 14 by member: 2ManyCurves
Welcome!! 
27 Feb 14 by member: waynem37
You are one tough cookie (but like, a healthy cookie with flax-seed and raisins)! You've reached the 100s with all that stress on your shoulders plus regular daily life nuisances, and you're a lot stronger in body and mind than I and a lot of others are. I hope I can get to where you are eventually on both accounts. 
27 Feb 14 by member: EmmaMaJig
WOO HOO!!! ONEDERLAND AT LAST!!! Congratulations Yo!! Doing the happy dance for you!  
27 Feb 14 by member: pumakitten
A giant THANK YOU, to each single one of you. You guys have been one hell of a support system through all of this, I am very humbled and grateful. You will Emma, no doubt about it :-) 
27 Feb 14 by member: Yolanda9179
Congratulations, Yolanda!!! Onederland!!! I'm so happy for you. You are losing at such a consistent and fast pace - I admire you so much for sticking to it and getting it done! How cool is it to *electively* take the stairs so many floors up rather than the elevator?! I find myself doing little "healthy" behaviors like that, too, and I surprise myself. I've had a similar struggle with my brother and other very close relatives. Thankfully, they are all on the sober and self-sufficient side of it now, but seeing what stress it caused me and other family members was brutal. The best thing to do is wish them well, love them through it, but don't enable them with money or repeated help that is beyond reasonable. 
27 Feb 14 by member: kkd1125
WOOOH!!! CONGRATS! You deserve it!!!! :) :)  
27 Feb 14 by member: megmonster
WOOOT WOOOT!!! You are AMAZING!!! :D And you are sooo right, emotional craving is so hard to beat. But we can do it. You are ROCKING THIS THING! WTG, Yo. I hope everything works out for your brother, and your family in dealing with him, too. 
27 Feb 14 by member: Rob.c.weiss
Congratulations you've done what you thought might not happen, imagine in your head the sound of a cheering stadium of your FS buddies. So happy for you. I am smiling and happy for you. 
27 Feb 14 by member: LadyBea40
Can I just say I'm proud of you kiddo, only known you a couple of months, but I think you and the job you've done is awesome. Sorry about your brother but whatever happens to him is gonna happen, sounds cruel I know but this is about your life, just like his is about his. 
27 Feb 14 by member: Kingstephen

     
 

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