|
I am a little behind but I was thinking today to recap my year. This year I...
Weighed "the same" all year - maybe two pounds more or less depending on which day of this week you want to compare.
Was wrangling with a person over my life's savings, the future of my children's education, and over my own future too. And dealing with my daughters home together, one in college and the other applying to get there, at the same time as getting one of the bathrooms remodeled.
Started to make my life into my own, after 25+ years as half of a couple that wasn't working. I remodeled the bathroom upstairs, and I have loved using the space ever since. Not all of the space is fixed up yet, but I have a plan and my roommate and I will get that taken care of in the spring.
Negotiated my divorce for 4 months, dealt with paperwork through June, filed for divorce in July. Dealt with 25 years of debris from the marriage, including 15 cubic yards of trash removed in one month that included things from the day we moved in together to the day he moved out and every phase in between. And dealt with the fact of my ex picking up a girlfriend the week we filed for divorce, and then with her being in all of his dealings with my daughters.
Cried every day for 2 months.
Got my baby out of high school, helped her get a driver's license, get into college and then saw her in the fall as one of the happiest freshman in the world. Realized that she was a very stressful element in my life and that I was much more relaxed after she moved out!
Hired cleaning ladies who clean like little whirlwinds. Hallelujah for the cleaning ladies!
Lost my big fluffy parrot boy in the divorce, and watched him get driven away - and then came home the next day and found him returned because the ex could not get the parrot to stop whining about the move.
Complained to my friends about things for too long and realized I had to have a therapist who got paid to listen to me!
Worked the night shift from May to December.
Joined a gym, started contradancing, went out walking with my friend most week days.
Had my older daughter essentially move away from home to work on Cape Cod for the summer.
Got a roommate and a dog.
Had a huge party for myself to celebrate: 10-10-2010! My birthday!
Bought my house from my ex. Found out my mother had given her house away to my brother (for very little money).
Came to terms with what I really want in life, went to classes to change careers, and added a second job to the other things I do with my time.
Volunteered: Girl Scout leader, Historical Society Vice president, costume designer for the high school play.
Grew my hair longer, revamped my wardrobe, got intensive therapy and found a boyfriend.
Almost done, I promise. One of the most important things I did this year was to finally find labels to describe the two of the most important people in my life: my mother and my ex. My life was developed around dealing with people who not only were irrational but who really thought that they loved me. It is also ironic that my ex managed to help me free myself from my mother, only to ensnare me in a more controlled environment for his own purposes! I think getting into a new relationship recently has brought up a lot of old "stuff" and I am trying to put all of this year in perspective here - thank you for bearing with me! As in most things, a bit of knowledge can go a long way, and to know I am not alone in having to deal with the kind of things that I lived with is the best help of all.
Last year, I think the word of the year was GRATITUDE. It was the start of the grateful lists among my buddies here, and I sifted through what I have and don't have to be thankful as much as I could. This year, I have found my word: CLARITY. I am clear about so many things and I think that I will search for that in everything I do. Clear that what I need is a way of living that feels right. Clear that the people around me need to know what I am committed to and what just is not going to work for me because that is going to make everything so much easier in the long run. Clear that there really are no secrets to anything: not losing weight, getting healthy, being in love, taking care of ourselves and our loved ones, being a friend. Maybe there are mysteries, but if we admit what we know, then there are no secrets, and what we seem to do here is to figure out the mystery of why we can't get some obvious things to work!
Anyway, I have had a long, long year, my dear buddies, and you all were here through it - I am looking forward to taking all that I have learned and having a great year. I hope you are too!
Happy Thursday all, and I love you!
Diet Calendar Entry for 20 January 2011:
|
1064 kcal
|
Fat: 25.86g | Prot: 37.91g | Carb: 180.11g.
Breakfast: french vanilla yogurt, Coffee with Skim Milk. Lunch: ham salad, Mayonnaise, whole wheat bread. Dinner: Baked Potato (Peel Eaten). Snacks/Other: girl scout cookie, starburst. more...
|
|