FullaBella's Journal, 23 October 2013

Finally moved to ICU after six hours in ER. Either the ativan shot whacked the heck out of him or the pharmacy injected Wild Turkey by mistake. Or... his decision to 'go to the hospital ' was just a few hours before CO2 poisoning finally elevated resulting in confusion and disorientation.

So as I am notorious for journaling honesty I'll confess I was not distraught anticipating the evening at home alone. Watching his condition worsen for a week has been water torture. Drip, drip, drip.

Nor was I disappointed to phone the trade show promoter to cancel this upcoming weekend. I wasn't really looking forward to it that much but if history repeats DH will likely come home with IV therapy for a week so I'll have my hands full.

Tongue in cheek - you gotta hand it to our government. In 2007 when he required 4 weeks of IVT it was mandatory it be administered 'in patient'. I can still hear the physician's tone when he snorted 'Bell, I realize you have an inflated sense of your medical skills but you are NOT a Registered Nurse - the minimum license required to perform this treatment.'

Now though - thanks to medical reform (aka 'less and less is covered... you sick folk need to learn to sink or swim) I CAN perform that treatment on him here at home. Amazing huh?

Sometimes I think he confuses the hospital with the Hyatt. Makes sense as this is the only place he goes that isn't 'home' anymore. At one point last night as he was complaining I responded 'I'll get the concierge ... er.. ahh... Nurse.'

No breakfast or lunch yesterday. No emotional eating or rationalized compromises. I have learned 'I won't really starve' and 'chaos doesn't need help by punishing my health '. Late afternoon meal when I came home to get a break & check on Mushy was a delicious lambchop (left over from Monday's lunch) and vegetable stew from Sunday. Even later dinner when I returned from the ICU was a homemade bacon, egg, cheese burrito with yogurt (instead of sour cream) .

It's quiet here (home). No AC running at a frigid 66 degrees. No oxygen concentrator cranking continually. And... no TV esp FOX news with their rant for the day. Just the endearing sounds of Mushy snoring on the bed.

And another day begins. Hope you all have a good one.



You sound good, in control, in coping mode. DH is in good hands. LOL on the concierge ie nurse. He does sound like a handful but we love them despite of or it is because of, who knows as long as we do. Glad you were able to realize that bad eating doesn't help and that you were able to wait until you got home to eat good food. I know all this intellectually but getting through it emotionally for me is difficult. Hope today is another good day for both you and DH. I am sure the sound of silence was blissful last night, thought tinged with sadness because a noisy house means DH is where he should be - at home. I also hope you get a rest while he is in hospital.  
23 Oct 13 by member: sarahsmum
I hope you can take the time that your husband is in the hospital for some "me time". Sounds like a very stressful couple of days but looks like your are handling it well. I hope he is home and better soon and you are well rested and ready. It's alway amazing what we can do when we have no choice. You are an inspiration! Take care and hope your day goes well. 
23 Oct 13 by member: SJacqueline
Bella your a strong woman...what your going through is not a good thing..We learn to do a nurse's job in a hurry..I remember the quiet when MIL was in the hospital and I would come home...its peaceful and lonely at the same time...Good job on not eating until you got home..Praying for both of you...Now get some rest while you can..as the next journey after your DH gets home will challenge you as you already know...Love and Hugs...:O) 
23 Oct 13 by member: BHA
I know dealing with long term medical issues can be exhausting. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers- hope you have a good Wednesday. 
23 Oct 13 by member: waynem37
You have this wonderful gift for humor even in stressful times. I see people in the hospital all the time and I couldn't help but smile when I read "concierge er... ahh... nurse". Gee ..... I hope I'm not going to be one of those royal pains .... when I do my hospital gig. I do wonder sometimes what the nurse is really thinking when they come into the room of a demanding patient? My son-in-law is a hospital doc .....I need to ask him what he does with those challenging patients. Keeping smiling my friend ..... And know that you do not journey alone .... may God's angels carry you when it gets to be too much.  
23 Oct 13 by member: glen
My prayers are with you. Take care 
23 Oct 13 by member: Char60
Bella, every day you seem to be clearer and clearer and stronger and stronger. You have my admiration. 
23 Oct 13 by member: Neptunebch
Thinking of & praying for you & DH, Angel! You are a survivor, and have learned to cope & caretake with grace... and without the emotional eating I'd be prone to. I am in awe, once again! Please, please try to take some time for yourself, now & once he's home again. You need the breaks as often as you can get them. And lean on us here... rant, cry, whatever you need... we are here for you! Please know how much you are loved! xoxox 
23 Oct 13 by member: Ruhu
Wow, Bella. God bless you and your DH. Thoughts and prayers. You're going through such a rough time. HUGS. 
24 Oct 13 by member: Helewis
I'm sorry I haven't been around to comment on your latest journals. My heart goes out to you for all you are having to go through right now. I hope hubby makes a speedy recovery and can come home soon. I think the serenity created by the lack of noise and distraction at home is a serendipitous benefit, allowing you a quiet haven to retreat to while dealing with the stress of hubby in hospital. I'm happy for you in that you aren't letting the stress monster negatively affect your eating habits. Hang in there, Bella, and know that we are here for you. 
24 Oct 13 by member: evelyn64


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